Mobile Magnified

Well, well, well. Just a few more weeks and the dog days of summer will be long gone. Thank God. You know when you’re as cold as ice like I am, you always have to worry about melting. Thankfully, I’ve managed to stay refrigerated, and I’ve also put some tasty gossip in some Ziploc Freezer bags with a double zip seal, so when you’re ready just thaw it out by running some warm water over it.

Leos, Fairies and Bears

The Fruit Loop was a-hoppin’ Sat., Aug. 18. After dealing with the Leos, the militant fairies and the bears, I was exhausted. Don’t worry, I’m going to explain. The Fruit Loop spies had to school me on all of this too.

First, the Leo Party. Two of the most fabulous gays in Mobile (maybe the world) have August birthdays and are Leos. So every year they celebrate with an astrological/ color-themed party. Last year it was blush and bashful, this year it was a white party. And one queen made sure he/she was an angel dressed in white. This guy with a five o’ clock shadow sauntered in wearing a white evening gown with silver beading and a gold clutch. (Silly fairy! Don’t mix your metallics.)

Now, this would not look unusual if he had had make-up and a wig on, I’m used to seeing the drag queens. But this was just a dude in a dress, so I had to question him to see if the gown was the only thing he had in his closet that was white or if just likes wearing frocks. I think it’s the latter. He said he was “sort of” part of some group called the “militant fairies” who are (according to him) gay people who live off the land, but he doesn’t actually do that. So my question is – do these militant fairies also wear evening gowns while plowing the fields? I’m confused.

Though not wearing an evening gown, one of the highlights of the evening was when FOX 10 fox Ms. Anissa Centers, who is friends with one of the Leos, showed up. She was the life of the party and though I didn’t see it, I hear she has some pretty smooth dance moves. No word on the militant fairy’s dancing skills.

Anyway, it was a great party at a great new club, Bacchus on Conception Street (where Quatorze used to be). They have done a fabulous job renovating this place, and it looks beautiful. The drink menu is inventive and the gorgeous courtyard will be awesome in the fall. I can’t wait. Definitely check it out.

Bears sighted on Conti

So across the parking lot at B-Bob’s, it was Gulf Coast Bear weekend. No, not the ones you see at the circus or the zoo. And I didn’t know this – apparently a bear is a big fat hairy gay man, which is supposedly attractive. But you can also have muscle bears who are muscular, hairy gay men. And smaller hairy gay men are cubs and if they’re muscular, they are muscle cubs. Hee hee.

The Fruit Loop spies reported that a guy named “Jack” who came in 3rd or 4th in the Mr. Bear contest was robbed. They said, “he was the hottest by far.”

In other insanity, there were two men dressed in leather submissive bondage masks with zippers over their mouths, and they were wearing collars with chains attached. They were leading each other around, but apparently they did not like what they saw.

One FL spy claimed he saw one of these guys unzip his mouth and say to the other one, “if this was a real bear party, people would be having sex everywhere.”

Sorry, Mr. Bondage Bear!

From BearFest to BeerFest

The 10th Annual International Beerfest on Saturday, Aug. 25 was a raging success, so much so I hear just about everyone sold out of tickets. Though the lines were long, the afternoon rain provided some relief from the heat and no one seemed to mind.

Many were excited to visit Noell Broughton’s new restaurant on Conception, Noell B.’s (the former Loretta’s location). The casual atmosphere restaurant and bar has murals of Noell’s former haunts and also portraits of downtown movers,, shakers and troublemakers, like Harold Dodge, Steve Nodine, the Bakery’s Pat Looney, attorneys Tommy Boller and Stoney Chavers, and of course, Garage owner and LoDa real estate mogul, Mr. Wendell Quimby, among others.

Singles Sold

The American Cancer Society held their Third Annual Singles Auction Thursday, August 23 at the Beach House Grill.

“We raised a total of $6,420. We had 18 singles participating, and the single that went for the most was Matthew Rone, an attorney in Baldwin County. His date paid $1,130 for a night on the town with fun-loving Matthew. The single girl that went for the most money was Hill Houston. Her date paid $500 for a chance to win this girl’s heart. All the singles and their dates will attend the group date this Thursday (May 30) at Cafe 615,” said Mary Kathryn Walker with ACS.

I give them an F

I’m giving WPMI’s restaurant scorecard an F – primarily for their use of bad puns. Last Thursday, they ambushed an Italian restaurant, and I swear if they made one more “Godfather/Good Fellas” reference I was considering “whacking them” myself. If you’re going to do this sensational series, WPMI, pease stop with the puns. I’m begging you.

It already irritates me when they attack some of my favorite places. Anyone who has ever worked in a restaurant knows the food inspectors can deduct points for the dumbest of things. And don’t use file footage of roaches crawling in a kitchen (which could be from some third world country) and then make it seem like it’s the restaurant you’re talking about. So misleading.

Well kids, this is all I got this week. I hope you enjoyed your class on bears. And just remember whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ muscle cub lovin’, I will be there. Ciao.

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

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