Feature Story

By Alyson Sheppard

Lagniappe intern

The infamous “goodbye” column every intern writes (oh yes, I did research)

[opening “goodbye” pun / “Sound of Music” reference]

[witty anecdote from my first day of work in May]

[shameless self-promotion]

[clever yet seemingly casual observations about the Lagniappe office (things to include: the mysterious smell of gerbils downstairs, the water damage stain over my desk that looks like a teddy bear, the constant fear of being hit by tornadoes or having to answer the phone, etc. etc.)]

[shameless self-promotion]

[clever yet seemingly casual observations about writing for Lagniappe (things to include: successfully sneaking the word “teabagging” into one of my first articles, receiving my first fan mail, receiving my first hate mail, using my first media creds to get dates and free beer, etc. etc.)]

[shameless self-promotion]

[vague description of my relationships with coworkers and editors to make us seem like friends]

[shameless self-promotion]

[list of things Lagniappe taught me (possibly needs to be omitted)]

[shameless self-promotion]

[list of things I taught Lagniappe (things to include: how to stalk on the Internet, appreciate children’s literature, construct infallible Nappie awards, relate to Baldwin Countiers and Bostonians, pick up hitchhikers and police officers, etc. etc.)]

[shameless self-promotion]

[my future plans reworked to sound impressive and important (example: “going back to school to probably starve to death due to my lack of significant summer wages” becomes “jet-setting across the country to research starving writers for the bestselling memoirs I shall one day write”)]

[shameless self-promotion]

[witty anecdote from my last day of work in August]

[closing “goodbye” pun / “Sound of Music” reference]

[sign-off to rival those of Brokaw, Jennings and Murrow but still sound young and cool: “Bye bitches.”]

NOTE: Be memorable but not too pretentious in case someone with actual newspaper credentials is scoping you out as a possible hire. Or, more importantly, if a hot, single guy is reading this.

Archives