By Sean Sullivan Lagniappe columnist

For all the dire predictions of its failure, the U.S. economy seems to be doing pretty well these days. Some watch the stock market as a barometer to the economic health of the country, some watch unemployment rates, some watch the GDP and some watch consumer confidence polls.

While I’m one of the latter I think we should realize what we are doing when we base our economic outlook on the folks that surround you in the check out line at the local box store. Economists say consumer spending makes up two-thirds of our economy, so just think back to your most recent trip to the store, be it grocery, department or some sort of hybrid and then try to tell me the economy is weak.

I believe we should create a new economic index based on the pointless crap people buy, and call it the Consumer Crap Buying Index (CCBI) and use it to judge the economy. It is one thing to have pollsters call a home at dinner time and ask them if they are going to make any medium to large purchases in the next six months and quite another to watch how many decorative candles, Beanie Babies, roller skate tennis shoes and NASCAR collectibles folks buy on a Saturday trip to the Mega-Store.

As I said in a previous column, one need go no further than the diet dog food choices on store shelves to know how prosperous our economy is. Some pundits still try to claim the economy is failing and regular folks can’t seem to get by. To deflate their argument I would use diet dog food as exhibit A through at least F. To follow up my strong economy argument I would play back the in-store video from any given Saturday down at the Big Box. Play back a few minutes of security camera video of carts stacked full of plastic crap like a singing bass, rainbow hair extensions, Transformers tableware set and a My Little Pony retro sweatshirt streaming to the check out line and the verdict would be in that Americans must be flush with cash.

You can do your own observation of this phenomenon at the local filling station. Most people (myself included) bitch about the price of gas at the same time they willingly pay $1.29 for 12 ounces of water. Not a cola, not juice, not a tasty beer but just bottled water. What would cost you next to nothing from the tap becomes a substance worth paying for when it is in a plastic bottle. If you can make it down the aisle past the $9 beef jerky there is still more to buy at the counter. You get a last buying chance on items such as an Auburn Tigers lighter, a plastic rose, some knock-off perfume and a “Best of the Dazz Band” cassette.

It isn’t just little crap that fuels the CCBI it is also bigger purchases that while too big for a shopping cart, still qualify as crap. The biggest purchase in this crap-buying quadrant is also the easiest to spot, because many people choose their front yard as its temporary home, the above-ground pool.

While our consumers aren’t confident enough in the economy to put a cement pond in the back yard, they feel strongly enough about America’s economic future to slap down $1,500 to $2,000 on something that is an eyesore within seconds of being erected. As an aside have you ever heard anyone comment on how nice someone’s above ground pool looks? Do you know anyone that has used and maintained an above ground pool for more than one drunken weekend?

If you wonder how the average American is making out in today’s economy, all you need to do is take an inventory of the blue vinyl mosquito lagoons dotting your neighborhood’s lawns to make your decision.

Whether it is Beanie Babies or above ground pools I think that the indicators of the Consumer Crap Buying Index are the best way to monitor the economic pulse of the U.S. With the CCBI in effect you wouldn’t have to trust pollsters or government economists to give you their take on the fiscal temperature of the country. No, just one trip down to the discount or convenience store would be enough to let you know that all is good.

So enjoy folks and their crap buying. Their consumption of cheap plastic stuff could save us all.

Sean Sullivan is Lagniappe lagniappe columnist. Contact him at ssullivan@lagniappemobile.com.

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