Mobile Magnified

Muhahahahahaha!

Greetings, my pretties. The streets of Mobile were filled with some very scary ghosts, goblins, e-mail terrorists and paddling judges on Halloween, and my spies were oh-so-happy to oblige me with full reports. So I have replaced all of the profanity with euphemisms and mixed it all up in a big ol’ cauldron with some puppy dog tails and paddle splinters – enjoy!

Halloweenies

Soul Kitchen of Horrors

The Soul Kitchen always has a haunted house and huge costume contest with a hefty $500 prize, and this year that brought out a banner crowd. The Ugli Stick provided the tunes and cute peacocks and slutty variations of cops, sailors, referees and just about everything else imaginable that can be hooched up danced the night away.

Fruitoween

The Fruit Loop spies reported their Halloween weekend started off fabulously, of course. On Friday, Oct. 26, I hear there was a super swank Halloween dinner party in MiMo slung up by members of the “Mobile Gay Mafia.” Well, at least that’s what they were dressed as the following night, complete with pink guns and wands.

The Mafia reported from parties all over town, but their favorite costumes were those portraying local villains.

The first one they noticed was “Daniel Leonard,” the admitted WPMI e-mail terrorist and alleged embezzler from the Alabama School of Math and Science. “Daniel” found a short-sleeved plaid shirt, like the one Leonard was wearing when he was arrested. You should know this because it was caught on film and played over and over again on WPMI. And they even put it on their billboard at Airport and Azalea. During this clip, Leonard, while being taken into Metro Jail in handcuffs, screamed at WPMI Anchorman Greg “Dirty Hands” Peterson, “you shouldn’t have called me full of hate.” Peterson was in the middle of the e-mail controversy, but that’s a whole ‘nother story. Anyway, I hear this “Daniel” kept screaming that at all the parties. Hee hee! Well done!

While that is pretty darn funny, I think my favorites may be the spanking Herman Thomas and Yvonne Kennedy, who were out together. “Spanking Herman” had a bald head, bow tie and a judge’s robe. Oh and of course a fraternity paddle. No word on if he spanked any bad little boys that night. “Yvonne Kennedy” had on a huge wig and a sash that said “Miss Bishop State.”

The B-Bob’s costume contest was a shocker this year. Usually won by scantily-clad men dressed as lifeguards, cops, sailors or Roman slaves, this year’s prize went to “Ugly Betty.” I hear it was dead on, which is still kind of scary. But I hear the night before Ugly Betty’s costume was even better, as he dressed up as B-Bob’s floor. He had a dirty shirt with what looked like a used condom pinned to it, matches and a card with someone’s number on it, which is funny, but I’ll have to say I’ve never seen B-Bob’s floor look like that; it’s one of the cleanest bars in town. But it’s still funny. Maybe it was the Bob’s floor after Fat Tuesday.

The B-Bob’s female winner was a breast cancer survivor dressed as a pink ribbon.

Borat in WeMo

A WeMo spy said she was at Fabacher’s Halloween night and caught a glimpse of one of the most disturbing costumes ever. Apparently, there is a bartender at the Met Groove who does Borat impressions all the time, and on Halloween night he took it to a whole new level when he dressed as the Borat wrestler from the movie. For those of you who haven’t seen it, it’s a skintight leotard, where you can see the frank and the beans. It’s very disturbing. And our “Borat” had on a neon green one and according to our spy, his frank and beans were on display as well. Yummy!

Dick in the Garage

Back down in LoDa, The Garage also had a phallic costume contest winner. A man dressed as a penis took home their top prize. Other notables were John McEnroe, a “Dick in the Box” guy from the SNL skit, The Fat Kid out in Dodge Ball and a Lady Killed by Flying Moonpies.

Grayson Capps Shorn

When Grayson Capps and the Stumpknockers play Callaghan’s on Sundays, they refer to it as “Hangover Sunday” and offer a disclaimer to anyone traveling to see them that this particular show may be different than any other. And it is. “Hangover Sundays” are insane on so many different levels it is hard to describe. When you have the most eclectic group of people ranging in age from 4 to 80, with some looking like they came off the pages of Elle magazine and others from “Deliverance,” all dancing on tables with each other, you just never know what’s going to happen.

Sunday, Oct. 28 proved to be one of those crazy nights, and I’m quite certain caused “Hangover Mondays” for many in attendance. Maybe because it was also the oh-so -lovable and furry bass player, Josh Kerin’s birthday that night, and the shots were plentiful. Kerin is also a huge Red Sox fan and when they defeated the Rockies to win the World Series, let’s just say there was a little hootin’ and hollerin’ from the birthday boy. And then he went around picking people up. It was great.

But probably the biggest mystery of the night was the disappearance of Grayson Capps’ hair. The singer who is known for wearing wife beaters and slinging around his long blond mane was sporting a new hipster haircut, which just doesn’t look right. But it’s OK, the word on the street is he donated his hair to “Locks of Love,” and they got so much they were able to make two wigs out of it.

The next “Hangover Sunday” at Callaghan’s is Thanksgiving weekend, Nov. 25, so make sure to stop by and witness or add to the insanity.

Woofstock

Earlier that Sunday, Cathedral Square was full of pups and their owners for the 3rd Annual Woofstock. With great tunes by Hamelin, Phar Fletcher, The Ugli Stick and others, coupled with fantastic weather, there was a huge turnout. The only ones who didn’t seem to enjoy it so much were the pups dressed up for the costume contest. Some of my favorites were the basset hound dressed as an alligator, several weenie dogs dressed as hot dogs, a large standard poodle as Superman, a cocker spaniel as a cow and one with a shirt that said “Michael Vick’s Worst Nightmare.”

The proceeds benefit the Animal Rescue Foundation; they really did a great job again with it this year, and I’m sure everyone is looking forward to next year. Well, everyone except the dogs.

Well, that’s all I got kids. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or just some plain ol’ frank and bean lovin’, I will be there. Ciao.

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

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