Mobile Magnified

Well, well, well. All I can say is I’m thankful I survived Thanksgiving. It was crazy, but lucky for you all, I made it through and was able to gather up a feast of gossip for you. I know, I know. I live to serve. Anyway, enjoy, but you may need an Alka Seltzer.

Camellia Ball Scoop, Ya’ll

One of my debutante spies filed a report in from the Camellia Ball, which took place Nov. 21 at the Mobile Convention Center, where a record number of young ladies made their debut.

As always, it was slung up and looked great, including a quasi-obscene-looking ice sculpture, which had a tunnel chiseled through it that was dispensing martinis. While it looked impressive, the spy reported it malfunctioned and dispensed a ‘tini right on the formal gown of one stag’s mother. Oopsie.

Speaking of malfunctions, there was some sort of “weird step” that everyone kept tripping on, including my spies.

But the funniest item reported was that the serving girls, who are about 5-or-6-years old, seemed to be having a little difficulty with the hors d’ oeuvres platters, which they were supposed to take around to serve the crowd.

“One little girl kept eating off the tray. And another one dropped a big piece of salmon of the floor. But instead of taking it back to the kitchen, she just looked around and put it back on the platter and served it. And you know how oily salmon is – God only knows what it picked up while it was on the floor,” the spy mused.

So if you had the salmon at The Camellia Ball, you may want to get tested for something. I don’t know what. Just something.

Special Turkey Day Guest at Callaghan’s

Thanksgiving Night is always a fun night to go out, and this year was no exception. Callaghan’s had the Nappie Award Winners for Best Local Band, Peek. entertaining all of those stuffed with turkey and dressin’. I always forget just how good PEEK is. Not only are their own songs record-deal worthy, their Counting Crows covers are spot on. I had to keep looking to make sure lead singer Chris Powell hadn’t eaten another person and started sporting dreads.

He hadn’t but perhaps their affection for Adam Duritz’s band is what persuaded hometown guy and Universal recording artist Eliot Morris to sit in with the band. Morris toured with the Counting Crows a couple of years ago.

Morris entertained all the doctors, lawyers and Indian chiefs (heavy on the doctors and lawyers), who were all in from out of town, with his songs, “Fault Line,” “This Colorful Word,” as well as a grand cover of CCR’s “Fortunate Son,” among others. Morris also said he was working on a new album.

For those of you who missed this show, you can catch Eliot at the Soul Kitchen Friday, Dec. 21.

In other Callaghan’s Thanksgiving Night news, Boozie’s arm was twisted and she was force-fed “baby shots” of tequila by a certain bartender. No other victims have been identified, and no injuries have been reported. (Unless you count a massive headache and sensitivity to light and sound on Friday.)

Grinding at Callaghan’s

Speaking of Callaghan’s. I heard there was some “disturbing grinding” at the last Grayson Capps show Sunday, Nov 25. It involved “some woman in a velvet dress and her man.” My spy said, “it looked like they were about ready to do it on the dance floor.” So classy!

Fred Thompson in MiMo?

A myspace spy said he was almost certain he saw Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson on Lafayette Street Nov.15. Thompson was in the area that day, so maybe. But what was he doing in MiMo?

I asked the spy if he saw the Secret Service or anything and this is what he reported:

“Actually, I did not see a security detail, come to think about it…couple of nice cars..sedans…they may have contained escorts. Maybe I was mistaken, but I got a pretty close look and the guy was a dead ringer for Thompson,” he wrote.

So maybe the “Law and Order” star was in town. No word if Jack McCoy was with him.

All you can eat Catfish!

Another spy reported she saw something “very fishy” on her way back home around 1 p.m. on Saturday, Nov. 24, on I- 65 north just south of the Fort Deposit exit.

“A tractor trailer carrying catfish hit and rolled an SUV towing a travel trailer on their way to the Iron Bowl. Catfish were all over the interstate, traffic was backed up for hours, the travel trailer was no longer travelable and the travel trailer dudes (long-banged ex-frat boys) were pissed,” she wrote.

I bet it smelled wonderful. Yummmy!

Bridezilla at Veet’s?

A spy sent in an e-mail tip saying he saw a woman in a wedding dress at Veet’s almost get into a fight. Can’t you just hear “You are so Beautiful to Me,” playing in the background? The bride reportedly got into someone’s face and said, “I’m going to kick your ass.” Yikes! Let’s hope it wasn’t the groom.

Miss Loretta to be on Scandinavian TV, sugar!

The Fruit Loop spies reported that B-Bob’s favorite drag queen, Miss Loretta, will be featured on a European reality TV show, showcasing “America’s most interesting people.” The show will be filmed this Friday night, Dec. 7 at 11:30 p.m.

So if you want to see one of our country’s most intriguing people or just want to try and be on a foreign reality TV show, I suggest you head to the Bob’s.

Well kids, that’s all I got. But with all the office Christmas parties and amateur drinkers out and about, I’m sure my gossip chest will overfloweth next issue. So keep your eyes and ears open and send any good stuff my way to boozie@lagniappemobile.com. And just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ dirty salmon lovin’, I will be there. Ciao.

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

Archives