By Ashley Toland Editor

Knock, knock. “Housekeeping,” I yell. Oh no you didn’t. You better take that “Do Not Disturb” sign off the door of the room in your brain dedicated to Mobile city council knowledge. What an exciting room! I know, but we have to do a little “housekeeping” every now and then to get you all caught up.

So just read this, because you know you’ll have all those Christmas parties to attend and what better conversation pieces than tales about the city council? OK, maybe we won’t go that far, but grab your “Room Ready for Service” sign because, like it or not, I’m coming on in. And, if it’s not too messy, I’ll leave a mint on your pillow and maybe even some extra sewing kits. And who doesn’t need extra sewing kits?

Land Bank

After months of legal junk, “I” dotting and “T” crossing, the Mobile City Council finally placed the resolution for the city’s new “land bank,” on the Tuesday, Nov. 20 agenda. The resolution, which passed unanimously, will offer the council a mechanism to seize abandoned and/or blighted properties.

In a typical “land bank” case the city has had to maintain these neglected properties for years without any remuneration from absentee owners who have not responded to repeated ticketing. Most are overgrown with weeds and litter. The hope is developers, including non-profits like DASH for the Gulf Coast and Habitat for Humanity, will turn these eyesores into new homes or office spaces for purchase, which will obviously only serve to improve the community.

Kudos to Councilman Fred Richardson who got the ball rolling on this project and Councilman William Carroll who took it on into the end zone. Yes, William, that was for you, my council jock.

They are currently working on some “guinea pig” cases.

The Christmas and Holiday Parade

The city-sponsored Mobile Christmas and Holiday parade will float down the streets of downtown Saturday, Dec. 15 at 1:30 p.m. You may be asking yourself, “Self, why oh why does our parade have the longest name in the history of holiday parades?” Well, you would tell yourself, “Self, it was changed from the Christmas parade to the holiday parade several years back to be more inclusive, but then area Christians were offended it was yet another assault to ‘keep Christ out of Christmas,’ so they demanded Christmas be added back to the name.”

The council appeased them. Hey, which is fine, but judging from the balloons and floats in that parade there ain’t much Christ in that Christmas parade anyway. Well, unless Rudolph is now considered a deity.

I also contend if we are operating under that principle, we should call it the Mobile Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Ramadan, “Spiritual but Not Religious/Agnostic/Atheist but we buy presents anyway” Parade. But they never listen to me.

A true Saint

The council recognized St. Paul’s SGA president Carmen Chambers at the Nov. 27 council meeting for the way the SGA responded to a recent racial incident at the private school, where someone placed a note in a black student’s locker that read “No Blacks,” and had a noose drawn on it.

It was very impressive to see the way Miss Chambers and the rest of the Saint Paul’s student government association responded to this horrible situation, letting everyone know the sentiment expressed in that horrendous letter was not representative of the student body’s. Not even close.

I really hope that is the case.

When I first heard about the incident, I’m sad to say I was not surprised, as I am continually astounded and saddened at the number of times I hear “upstanding” members of this community (the parents of some of these kids) make jokes about the “jigaboos” or “natives.” I can’t believe some of the e-mails people forward, which they obviously deem acceptable. I received one just the other day defending Michael Richards’ racist comments. Come on! Really? Do you really think that’s cool?

Even when Rob and I were on the “Uncle Henry” show last week some old man called in to tell me he didn’t like the way the “black councilmen wanted you to kiss their rings.” And he said this, not even realizing how offensive it was.

So I guess I don’t know why I’m astounded.

And I’m just as guilty because sometimes I tell people these words offend me, but some times I just let it go, without saying anything. Thanks to these kids,who were thankfully raised in atmospheres devoid of hate, for reminding us to always say, “hey that’s just not cool.”

OK, that’s it. Your bed is made and you have some fresh towels in the bathroom. I was out of extra sewing kits, but wait until you see the little Christmas and holiday lagniappe I left for you. Two words – SHOWER CAP, baby!

You’re welcome.

Ashley Toland is Lagniappe editor. Contact her at ashleytoland@lagniappemobile.com.

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