Mobile Magnified

Well the insanity has begun. Man, it’s just too early this year. Oh well, I’m a trooper, I can do it, and I know you guys can too. So dust of your “good beads” and nibble on a nanner moonpie because it’s the Mardi Gras, ya’ll. Laissez les bon temps rouler!

Oh Osiris!

Well the Mardi Gras festivities got kicked off for me Friday, Jan. 11 at the Order of Osiris ball, which is the gay and lesbian society, and my personal favorite – the gays do it up right.

This year’s theme was “Under the Sea,” and featured creatures from the deep, including Poseidon, Sea Turtles, Jelly Fish, Loch Ness Monster, Jaws, the Yellow Submarine, Creature from the the Black Lagoon, Mer-man, Octopussy, Tic and Toc (from Peter Pan), among others.

My faves were Yellow Submarine, Octopussy and Tic and Toc, especially Captain Hook on Tic and Toc, he was named this year’s king. And I can’t remember what Queen Margaret was dressed as, but she looked nice too.

The night started out with a Miss Loretta sighting. The B-Bob’s drag queen was filmed for a Swedish reality TV series last month because she was named one of America’s “Most Interesting People” – probably because she is a rural used car sales man by day and a diva by night. But anyway, she was overheard telling people, “you know I am on TV now.”

Former Mobile County School board president Harold Dodge and his wife were having a good ol’ time watching the tableaux on the front row.

And there were men on one float wearing jockstraps or maybe G-strings, I can’t remember which, but I distinctly remember seeing heiney.

And a man we dubbed as the Asian Fabio was also in attendance. We loved him. I don’t know why.

See, I told you it was the best one. Once again, congratulations to King Travis and Queen Margaret. Can’t wait until next year.

Osiris Brunch

The day after a fantastic brunch was held near downtown. Many gays from all over the country attended, as did a lunatic, who was just walking by but was invited inside by a Baton Rouge gay.

The woman “seemed normal” at first, as she was commenting on how cute the man’s house was. But then she started referring to someone as “The Controller.” Two attendees asked her who this “Controller” was and she said, “the Controller of the Universe.” They were like Oh-kay, Crazy. She then proceeded to tell them to watch their drinks because “The Contoller will poison them with wolf poison.” Do they make wolf poison?

Oh well, always good to have a paranoid schizophrenic at your brunch – just not The Controller apparently.

Drag Queens in Minton’s

One of my spies said she saw two drag queens buying formal gowns at Minton’s on Airport and McGregor last week. My guess is it was for Osiris or maybe not.

Just passing on the information.

Dental dilemma for Archbishop Lipscomb

File this under completely useless info, but we have spies everywhere, ya’ll. Apparently, Archbishop Oscar Lipscomb was spotted in the CVS on Broad and Government looking for a part for his electric toothbrush. Why do you need to know this? I have no idea, but you do now.

Dis B for Al

A couple of my city spies said they had heard Mayor Jones’ chief-of-staff Al Stokes just bought a brand new truck for himself and wanted to make sure everyone knew it was his, so he got a personalized tag that says DISB4ME. Now we could not confirm this, but that’s why it’s called a gossip column,

“The Daily Show” – What’s that?

One of my media spies tells me that when former WPMI reporter Brian Johnson was enjoying a modicum of fame during the Crichton Leprechaun fiasco, producers from “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” called and asked him to file occasional reports. Apparently BJ is not up on his Comedy Central because he asked a few of his co-workers, “What’s the Daily Show?”

We also hear he may be doing freelance work for CNN soon.

Duck Smellus plays Saenger

Bruce Hornsby and Ricky Skaggs played the Saenger Theatre Saturday, Jan.1 2 and our spies said he was hysterical. Apparently, he registered under the name Duck Smellus at the hotel he stayed at Friday night. That crazy Hornsby!

Richard Tyson spooted in LoDa

Brother of District Attorney John Tyson and co-’star of ‘80s -‘90s movies, “Two Moon Junction” and “Kindergarten Cop,” was spotted at the Hurricane Brew Pub a couple of weeks ago, while local band The Hyde Project played.

The Boozester loved “Two Moon Junction” when her young teenage hormones were raging. Tyson played a carnie who was sleeping with a rich Southern belle, played by Sherilynn Fenn. A classic story, it was steamy!

Well, kids, the Conde Cavaliers roll this Friday night, and I will be there along with a legion of spies. So just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ Duck Smellus lovin’, I will be there. Ciao.

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

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