Crockmeir's

There are some places you never go to eat unless you are hung over or very drunk. Those days are thankfully behind me, and even when I have been hung over, my stomach had banished them due to the sights and smells found inside.

It has been a long while since the name “Crockmeir’s” formed on my lips. As a child I remember it as one of the first “fern bar” type restaurants. That was back when spinach salads where the hot new thing, busting out of oblivion into popularity much like the emergence of Caesar in recent times. I had a neighbor who used to make spinach salads everyday after school, while her sister sat around with her hair rolled up in empty Hawaiian Punch cans. Oh, how wonderful the ‘70s were.

T.P. Crockmeir’s was the hot thing back then, quite the swinging singles hopping place at night, along with many a lawyer or banker’s stop to cop a feel (or more) on the way home to the family. Of course, my family only went on Sunday after church. It was festive and quite the thing, because they had, I think, the first “champagne brunch” in town. “Glass of Andre with those eggs?”

Crocks of French onion soup and oversized platters of quiche rode in the air alongside burgers and Monte Cristos. Even at that age, I noticed the tired looking men and women slumped over the bar with long tubes of ash dangling ever so deftly from their cigarettes. I guess by high school I was too busy trying to get out of church, and I lost touch with T.P.’s.

When I moved back to Mobile over a decade ago, T.P.’s was still alive. And so was the carpet, the furniture and, I think, the same light bulbs. It was rather dank; I got the feeling that those first thousand spilled drinks from the ‘70s were still a little damp under the carpet, refreshed each evening with a new rain of bourbon and beer.

What caused me to re-enter was their being crowned king of Eggs Benedict by a Travel and Leisure magazine or something. Some friends from Birmingham laughed and so I dragged them there to experience it. The same tired people were at the bar, but, hey, we were hung over as well! I then formed a new relationship with Crockmiers and up until five years ago, I even took the kids. Their fried food has always been freshly battered, which satisfies anyone’s grease fix. But our crowd, after a while, found it too depressing and smoky so we moved on.

So I was hesitant when a friend called on a recent beautiful Saturday and suggested we meet at Crockmiers’ “Midtown Courtyard.” When did they get a courtyard and did we need to get drunk first? After being reassured things had changed, I piled everyone in the car and we went. A courtyard has been added on to the front side and the inside has been redone! In the courtyard, there are about 10 or so outdoor tables with umbrellas surrounding a nice sized bar.

If you have been here before, you remember their menu, the “TP Guide.” It is six pages long, which makes it hard to choose something, but there are ratings “stars” to help you identify what is most popular. I was focused this day on lunch; they have their famous Benedict, omelets (crabmeat being a big favorite) and quiches every day. Also, they have oyster and shrimp loafs that I imagine would be good, but I have never tried.

Among the appetizers, their nachos Mexicana ($7.95) are I think the best in town and worth making a meal. Their appetizers are all made in the restaurant, the way you liked them the first time you had them if you are my age. If you are younger, then this is what bar and fast casual food was like before it was flash-frozen, bastardized and made corporate.

The potato boats ($6.75) are irregular, not perfect in size, with handfuls of cheese and bacon on them. The crab claws ($11.95 for half pound) are pretty good, and if you are going for the first time you ought to try their sampler platter ($8.50 with hot wings, fried cheese, potato boats and stuffed jalapeños).

I have to fill you in on the batter. The batter at Crockmeir’s is one that only the picky do not like. It is a thick batter, medium brown with a crunch, not a flake. You can taste that the item inside, be it a finger, a claw, a wing or a fry, that was actually placed into it before cooking. I asked for fried mushrooms ($5.95), which come with a teary horseradish sauce. There were so many mushrooms that there was no way the three adults could begin to eat them all.

The kids ordered chicken fingers and burgers. Chicken fingers (kids, $4.50) a big cut and fried well. The Burger (kids, $3.75) was good. Hard to screw up a grilled cheese (kids, $3.50), although I have seen some people try. The fries were the only item of the meal that really wasn’t my favorite.

My decision was hard. I wanted to get the nachos, or Monte Cristo (theirs is a good one, Texas toast with ham, turkey and Swiss, battered and grilled—$6.95), a burger, or their club ($7.50). All of their burgers are great, and I was tempted to get the patty melt ($7.25). But someone else got it instead and it was generous and quite good. Maybe not as good as I had remembered, but I do think that I will try this next time.

In the end I chose the spinach salad and French onion soup au gratin ($9.25). How retro could I get? It was a good choice, and a pretty day for me to be picking stings of cheese from my unshaven face. The beef broth for the soup was just salty enough not to ruin it, with plenty of onion and not overloaded with bread.

I could not have made a better spinach salad. Large fresh spinach leaves competed with mushrooms, egg, bacon and Parmesan cheese and all of it was fresh, not tired. I chose the hot bacon dressing, which is similar to a vinaigrette dressing.

The service was attentive, our pace slow and we enjoyed our first bearable lunch outside since January. I will also go inside and eat now—the carpet is new, the walls cleaned up, the people… Well, there were still a few lost souls hunched over the bar. But they seemed to be lifting their heads up when the food came.

Kinnon Phillips is Lagniappe cuisine editor. Contact him at kphillips@lagniappemobile.com.

Archives