By Ashley Toland Editor

I woke up in the middle of the night last night to find a man with an elaborate feather headdress on standing over my bed.

Confused and sleepy, I said, “Jesus Christ, did I bring you home from The Garage?”

“I am not Jesus,” he said. “And, no, I wasn’t at The Garage last night.”

“Whew,” I said. “Thank God, but you never know. It is the Mardi Gras.”

“Yes, I know far better than you, Miss Toland, for I am the one they call Chief Slacabamorinico. The one and only Joe Cain.”

“Oh hey Joe” I said.

“Hey Ashley,” Joe said.

“Joe?” I asked.

“Yes, Ashley,” Joe answered.

“Why are you standing in my bedroom?” I asked.

“Well, I just wanted to check in and see how things were going in the city since I’ve been gone and I thought you could tell me,” Joe said.

“Oh, well, things are good. This German company called ThyssenKrupp is building the biggest steel mill in the galaxy right up the road, the RSA Tower and Battle House are up and running and look awesome and obviously it’s Mardi Gras, the best time to be a Mobilian,” I said.

“Well, when I was driving my coal wagon down the interstate I saw this giant Confederate flag flying. I know they used to fly them during the Civil War, but I figured, since that was 150 something years ago, I wouldn’t think you guys would still be flying them. Is there another War Between the Sates going on right now or something?” Joe questioned.

“Oh, no, Joe. There is a group of people who say they are celebrating their heritage, even though they know the Battle Flag was used as a symbol of hate during some of the darker periods of our history,” I said.

“You know, Ash, I would think people who are trying to honor their fallen ancestors wouldn’t attempt to do so with a symbol that is so divisive and offensive to so many people,” Joe said.

“Yeah, I know. It doesn’t make any sense to me either. It’s just so embarrassing to have it flying on the interstate as people from all over the country drive by it every day. It makes us look like we are frozen in time, and there are so many good things going on right now, I hate to look like we’re not the progressive city we are starting to become,” I said.

“Well do you think there is a lot of racial division in this community? I mean, I heard there was some new Mardi Gras documentary that makes us look like we’re a very segregated community?” Joe quizzed.

“I haven’t seen the film, and my guess is that when Mobilians see it, most will think it is a perfect representation of what Mardi Gras is. It’s outsiders looking in noticing the racial divide. I don’t think a lot of us even notice it, sadly. I haven’t ever really thought about is as being so divided because my Mardi Gras experience just isn’t like that. I think it only is for a handful of people who wear tiaras and pantaloons. To me, it’s about standing out on the streets, catching beads and chatting with tons of different people about moonpie flavors and debating who has the best floats and throws.”

“That is what I always wanted it to be about too,” Joe confirmed.

“But, I have been told by people in some of the older, all-white societies that if they issued invitations to black people, they would be fined. And of course, everyone has heard tales of interracial couples being asked to leave and stories like that, which is just appalling. Usually the standard defense I hear to that is ‘the black societies do the same type of things to the whites.’ I hope these things aren’t true — that it’s just some really antiquated urban legend that may have originated in different times.”

“I hope so too,” Joe said.

“But at least this documentary will promote commentary on the issue. And maybe some people on both sides of the divide will want to make changes and not because they’re forced to but because they want to,” I said.

“Joe?” I said.

“Yes, Ashley.”

“Is there anything else you want to talk to me about?

“Yes, what’s going on with the digital billboards and the city council?” he asked.

“Joe Cain, why would you want to know that?” I asked.

“I really don’t. But you decided to use me in this column and you wanted to mention something about the billboards, so I’m just helping you out.”

“Oh thanks Chief. Well they are just going to limit where they can be placed. Councilwoman Connie Hudson thinks if they are too close together it could become a traffic hazard. That’s all.”

“Well, thanks Ashley. I’m so glad I know that now. Is there anything else going on at council right now?’

“No, not really. Now if that’s all you wanted….”

“Well little miss, if you want to see why all my widows were so merry, I could give you a little taste of the Cain here.”

“Mr. Cain, you’re such a pervert,” I accused.

“Yes, I am,” he admitted as he jumped on my bed.

“Oh, Mr. Cain, your feathers tickle.”

Giggle. Giggle.

Happy Mardi Gras!

Ashley Toland is Lagniappe editor. Contact her at ashleytoland@lagniappemobile.com.

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