Mobile Magnified

Well King Felix declared we should all “succumb to the cornucopia of joy and pleasure Mobile’s Mardi Gras provides,” and I think we did, ya’ll. I’m exhausted. And everyone I know has some sort of horrible post Mardi Gras funk, but I think it was worth it. Don’t you?

Comic Cowboys piss off Hermie

Of course, the Boozester’s favorite paraders, The Comic Cowboys, went to town on our spanking jurist, Judge Herman Thomas, featuring him on several floats. One of them read, “we salute Judge Herman Thomas… the only person to go up the creek with a paddle.”

The only thing that surprised me is that he didn’t have more dedicated to him, but even more surprising is that a spy who rode in the parade says Thomas actually came to the parade, and according to this spy, he flipped off all the floats that made fun of him.

Well, I guess it could have been worse. He could have had his paddle with him.

IM in LOVE

Love was in the air for one Infant Mystic, according to one of our Mardi Gras spies. It seems an IM who was riding the “devil float” decided to take the opportunity to pop the question to his “angel” (OK, that was a little cheesy) before riding in the parade.

We’re told he jumped off the float, got down on one knee and slapped a 2+ carat diamond on her finger. Awww. Sounds like a perfect proposal.

Later at the IM ball, Super Funk Fantasy played, and I’m told there was some scary-looking dance by the Lagniappe crew.

Fight!

At one if the snootier balls, apparently a masker was jealous his old girlfriend was there with another guy, so he punched him out. Classy.

Dentures at Veet’s …again

Some of you have obviously forgotten to Fixodent and forget it. One of the lovely ladies at Veet’s tells me some “lady” lost her dentures at the Royal Street bar on Fat Tuesday. The toothless lady and the staff searched frantically for the lost choppers, and we’re told everyone went through the dumpster (of gross Mardi Gras garbage) to no avail. And to think some people put their wallets on chains and just leave their teeth lying around.

And let me remind me you, this is not the first denture loss at Veet’s. We had one about a year ago but if I remember correctly, they found that pair.

We have also had a report of someone who vomited up their dentures at a SoMo bar a couple of years ago. And then picked them up out of the vomit and stuck them back in her mouth.

People, please, put on your Polident before pounding PBRs.

Extreme Home Makeover Madness

By now, everyone knows the “Extreme Home Makeover” folks were in town to construct a home for the Gaudet family on Baronne Street, off Sage and Emogene. And, of course, everyone went nuts.

My spies tell me they were invited to ride in some of the parades and to at least one ball. I have not been able to confirm if Ty Pennington and the gang donned any tails. I did however hear that someone was trying to get the king and queen of Mardi Gras to present the keys to the family. Thank god that didn’t happen. I also heard someone who works with the city got so excited, she had to be asked to leave the set. Settle down, people. Settle down.

Then, the night they unveiled the house, Ty and the gang went to Callaghan’s, where they spent a couple of hours and drank draft beers. Later a spy tells me Ty was seen leaving Veet’s “with some girl.” The spy couldn’t tell if it was just a co-worker or some local “lady” getttin’ some lovin.’ If it’s the latter, let’s hope she represented us well.

Also, a neighborhood spy said a few of the neighbors were pissed at the huge inconvenience the show was causing them. So much so, two neighbors got into a fight over it, and the show’s security guard had to break it up. And apparently, when the neighbors complained to the security guard he gave them some lawyer’s card and told them to call and complain and they would write them a check.

The spy said that they were still there on Monday, Feb. 11, because they weren’t finished and they were having to re-sod several of the neighbors’ yards they tore up.

A little Shields news

One Mobilian headed off to New York on Ash Wednesday and through connections got to hang out with Brooke Shields and the cast of the new NBC series “Lipstick Jungle.” The spy said Brooke was a “lovely person,” and so “generous and personable.” And she also has a Mobile connection. Apparently, her second child’s nurse/nanny is from Mobile. She was with the child out in Los Angeles. Apparently it’s hard for the LA folks to find nurses out there, so they come to the South. Who knew? Anyway, just thought you would enjoy that little tidbit.

Well, kids that’s all I got. Please enjoy the Lenten season of rest but don’t give up misbehavior all together, or I’ll be out of work.

We got Chili Cook-off coming up Saturday, Feb. 23. Our own Rob Holbert and Kinnon Phillips will be serving as judges again, so I’m sure they will be willing to accept bribes, just send them to me, and I’ll make sure they get them – wink, wink.

Anyway, just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ Ty Pennington lovin’, I will be there. Ciao.

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

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