Captain's Table

The summer I turned sixteen, I got my first job. There was little social life for me that summer, as I my “day” began at three and did not end until eleven p.m. My challenging job was to assist at the front desk and bus tables when needed at the Best Western Battleship Inn and Captain’s Table restaurant. What heady days – tending to the needs of middle class families and oil rig workers at the hotel, and cleaning up after the same, at the restaurant. The Captain’s Table was in its prime then. The aquarium was gleaming and full of gulf fish, the walls fresh and the crowds steady.

All meals were, and still are, accompanied by a choice of two – salad, baked potato, fries or vegetable of the day. This was standard all across the country at that time, before polenta, garlic mashed potatoes and mesculin greens had ever been thought of as restaurant food. The fried seafood was well regarded, in addition to steaks that were on the size of roasts. Prices were a bit on the expensive side, but not exorbitant.

The Captain’s Table was styled like so many other restaurants of its time – themed and with signed celebrity photos in cheap frames along the walls. In the eighties the décor was all nautical. The waitresses all wore sailor tops and the walls were festooned with ropes, lifejackets, anchors and the like. It bordered on tacky.

I recently took my family out to dinner to check and see if the food was still good and worthy. Not much had changed – the menu is the same, older ladies and men serve as wait staff, albeit new “formal” attire, and the patrons seem to come from off the Bayway. The clientele has gotten remarkably older and the walls cluttered. There is way too much WWII memorabilia for my taste.

But the room now looks just like any other down on its luck Holiday Inn dining room. The waitresses looked tired and the fish tank was empty but for one Nimo impersonator. Worn out seats and torn menu corners announced that we were in shallow waters, the table for four was set for two. It took a while to get the rest of our utensils. The former paper placemats of the fifty state capitals found here in the old days are long gone. But just like in restaurants of old, plenty of captain’s wafers and Melba toast were on the table, accompanied by butter. This was enough to hold us until our meal arrived.

I recommended that the family stick with the fried seafood. While the Captain’s Table offers any and every way to have seafood prepared, the fried has always been the best. But they have also had a reputation for some of the largest and choicest cuts of steak – a NY Strip and Rib eye. I chose the half rib eye. You can order a whole steak for $29 or the half for $20. Crabmeat can be placed on top for several more dollars.

One of my children wanted 1/2 pound of Crab Claws ($12), the other Chicken Fingers ($9). I promise for your sake not to allow them to order chicken fingers anymore and you will not read of them again after this review. I am as sick of writing about them as you are hearing about them. My wife ordered the Fried Shrimp and Oyster Platter ($16).

The adult meals came with the choice of two sides – as seen above. We both chose a salad and baked potato. I also asked for a side of the vegetable of the day, which was asparagus casserole. Our salad arrived – crisp, fresh iceberg lettuce tumbled out of the bowl, crowned with a tomato wedge and a coat of blue cheese dressing. But for having to maneuver the lettuce so as not to fall onto the table, it was quite tasty and the dressing was creamy and mild.

The crab claws were small and looked as if they had been well fed, but were not plump. I look for claws that resemble the sagging stomach of a potential heart attack victim. These were tender, mild and my son loved them. But to him anything covered in ketchup is good. Our waitress brought some seasoned fries for him as well, tasting just like they do from the freezer section.

My steak was a disappointment. It was long, but quite thin and not cooked as I had ordered. The steak was not the large roast that I had remembered. If you do choose to go, don’t get this. It was over-priced and not good. Our potatoes were fabulous. Steamy and soft, thick mounds of butter and sour cream curdled through – simply prepared and sublime. The asparagus casserole was interesting. It tasted as if they used the orange jalapeno cheese that used to come in the squeeze tube and topped it with bread crumbs. I liked it in some weird kind of way.

Plenty of oysters and shrimp were on my wife’s platter – they were fried in a softly, without too much breading. Both tasted fresh and were of nice size. This was the only choice that I did not think was quite overpriced. The chicken fingers had been hand cut and that is somewhat impressive.

We spent $63, way too much for a place that has kind of gone to the dogs. Our country is littered with restaurants of this quality that were once great but have lost their luster. The crowds still come but I don’t think they realize that better business would come if it were not seedy and rather down on its luck looking. As long as business does not suffer, I guess the attitude is “why change”?

Kinnon Phillips is Lagniappe cuisine editor. Contact him at kphillips@lagniappemobile.com.

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