Mobile Magnified

Well kids, we’ve sprung forward – in more ways than one. With the EADS announcement and the threat of spring looming, everyone seems to have a little extra kick in their step. And you know what that means? That’s right …misbehavior. And of course I’ve watched and gathered and jotted it all down for you. You’re welcome. Seriously, don’t mention it. I like doing this for you.

No spring in that roll

One local sushi lounge got all the fresh meat it could stand recently. It seems one patron bellied up to their bar with a couple of gal pals and they had obviously been into the sake before they arrived.

Things took a turn for the ugly when the guy in this group stuffed his mouth with shaved ginger and then began plucking the pieces out and flinging them at a pair of adjacent female diners. That’s no way to impress the ladies with your oral skills, pal!

Chastised by the sushi staff, the food fighter wasn’t through yet. He retired to the bathroom and emerged with all his mutant ninja glory hanging out of his unzipped fly. A restaurant staffer pushed him back into the bathroom, just a chopstick away from giving him a little “hai karate” to put him in place.

By this point, the establishment had phoned for the police and the samurai in blue took the females in the group outside. When the flasher joined them on the sidewalk, the tipsy geishas copped a ‘tude with the cops and the flasher followed suit. It wasn’t long before he got a face full of pavement, a lovely pair of silver bracelets and a ride to lock-up courtesy of our municipal shoguns.

No word on whether the offending appendage was a shrimp roll or not.

Kid Rock of Love

A spy reported that the Kid Rock show in Biloxi was awesome. “Well worth going again. He truly is the Stone Pimp of the Morning,” the spy said. I’m not really sure what that means, to be honest.

He also watched a three generations of redneck men smoke dope together. They were approximately ages 22, 35 and 55. Security was baffled as to where the smell came from.

Scheduled guest, Rev Run (formerly Run from Run DMC) from the wholesome family show Run’s House performed a set with Kid Rock in Biloxi. His wholesome “Reverend” image was tarnished when he used the word GD and

Also dropped a few F bombs while grabbing his package during the set. They performed about 8 Run DMC songs.

A surprise guest at the KR show was Dicky Betts from the Allman Brothers. He performed AB staples, Southbound and Traveling Man. Not a surprise was his slurred speech.

Girl Gone Wild

The Fruit Loop spies say the Miss Loretta 12th Anniversary drag show at B-Bob’s was a huge success. There were tons of her kin in from seemingly every state that has a town either called Jackson or Jacksonville in it, which they found kind of strange.

She gave out commemorative rainbow pens and key chains and then had a lottery to give away the much-coveted “Loretta snow globe.” The handcrafted globe featured a picture of the “good girl,” who promised to go “bad.”

She sang her classics, including “Harper Valley PTA,” and “Coal Miner’s Daughter,” among others.

Reality TV stars fall on Alabama

I also hear we have some potential reality TV show stars in town. Several different spies have reported hearing a local girl is trying out for “America’s Next Top Model” and another local guy is supposedly trying out for “Nashville Star.” But the best one I heard was that “Wife Swap” was coming to Mobile. And don’t forget the “Extreme Home Makeover” episode featuring Mobile airs Easter night. Should make for some interesting TV.

Hit him with your best shot

If the mayor’s chief of staff, Al Stokes, has “rubbed you to the point that you have wanted to hit him with something,” you can have your chance to do it without being arrested. On Friday March 14 at 2:30 p.m., you can toss a pie at Al in the Government Plaza atrium for $25, as part of a fundraiser for the Start! Heartwalk. For more info on how to smack Al, e-mail sawyer@cityofmobile.org.

Well kids, that’s all I got for now. With St. Patrick’s Day coming up and the general misbehavior associated with spring fever, I know I’m going to be busy. But just remember whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or just some plain ol’ ginger root lovin’, I will be there. Ciao.

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

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