Mobile Magnified

Well, well, well… we survived Widespread and the Shrimp Cook-off. Now we have Mullet Toss and Jazz Fest and the Mobile wedding season toendure. It’s going to be ugly, in a good way. Look for people tossing fish at the Bama, peeing in crazy places at JazzFest and drunken bridesmaids vomiting all over LoDa.

But before we make it to those glorious things, we have to review the past couple of weeks. I’ll have to say I’m a little disappointed in a few of my spies. They were so intoxicated, they couldn’t remember anything. Oh well, occupational hazard, I guess.

Shrimpies!

Boozie’s shrimp-gobbling spy at the recent Volunteer Mobile Shrimp Cookoff said the event was another great success. Now I’m not sure if that just means my spy was successful in meeting his goal of eating 12 pounds of shrimp, but I get the idea the whole thing was a winner.

Congressman Jo Bonner’s booth was one of the day’s best, fully decorated in an island theme with a lovely row of tiki torches leading up to where the shrimp were being distributed. The spy did get a laugh when he spotted Stephen Potts of Mobile Bay Monthly fame chomp into one of Bonner’s delicious shrimp, only to realize the recipe called for the shell to be left on. It’s a bit crunchy if you eat it that way, Stephen!

The gang from the Child Advocacy Center were also decked out in fine fashion, going with an angel theme. Somehow they managed to get all the men in their group to wear hot pink halos and wings. My spy said the coldbeer may have helped.

In the Loop

The Fruit Loop spies said B-Bob’s was full of drama last weekend. Apparently, some hot chick named Amuka, who is huge on the “circuit party scene” (I’m not exactly sure what the circuit party scene is, but the spy said it was for “muscle boys who are 18-26”) put on a fantastic show, despite some “aging circuit boys trying to relive their youth,” which they said was pathetic.

Also, after the show was over, a huge lesbian fight broke out and it took a while to get it under control. Our spies said they went up and told some other lesbians that “gay people do not fight in public,” and they needed to inform their fellow lesbians.

I was not aware that was part of the gay code of conduct, but whatever. I’m glad they set the record straight.

Widespread debauchery

I had tons of spies down at Widespread Panic at The Wharf, though most of them either said they couldn’t comment for fear they may incriminate themselves or others. Or they just couldn’t remember what happened. Nice.

One spy did report that the heavens seemed to be cooperating with the band on Friday night. Not only was it a full moon but during the song “Airplane,” there is a line that says “sitting around watching the rainfall,” and during that song, it began raining, and the crowd went crazy. Jesus must love Widespread.

But maybe not bassist Dave Schools, who busted his ass on stage Friday night, according to our spy.

The crowd was interesting as always. There was a really “altered” guy running around in a black cape, people dressed as clowns and women in formals, with the last being the strangest.

My spy said she heard they arrested so many people for drug paraphanelia and minor possession charges that they didn’t have enough room in the Orange Beach jail.

The Bachelorette: New Orleans

My New Orleans spies said a group of Mobile girls were in the Big Easy on a bachelorette party this past weekend and things got a little out of hand Two of the girls decided to grace the audience at the Cat’s Meow with their rendition of “Jack and Diane.”

Certainly not to be outdone, the bride-to-be rode the mechanical bull at Bourbon Cowboy and later got up on stage to sing “Going to the Chapel” with a blues group.

Ministry at House of Blues

And another Mobile contingent was at the Ministry concert at the House of Blues Saturday, April 19. They said Ministry frontman Al Jorgensen was spotted sitting outside the tour bus during the day playing a mandolin and drinking red wine.

Also, since this is their farewell tour, at the end of the show, they dropped balloons with Ministry’s logo on it from the ceiling. They also sold these balloons. I’d never really equate Ministry and balloons, but it is their last goodbye.

Southern what?

My spy who went to the casting call for the new Lifetime series, “Southern Belle,” said, “All I can sayis I think they must have been casting for ‘Southern Skank.’” Let’ s hope there were some diamonds in the rough.

Brangelina casa?

We hear Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have purchased a house in Point Clear. Tied up in the purchase is the rumor they wanted David Cooper’s house, but he wasn’t selling. Who knows?

Well kids, that’s all I got. I’ll have Mullet Toss and Jazz Fest gossip for you next time. Until then, remember whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or just some plain ol’ Widespread lovin’, I will be there. Ciao.

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

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