By Sean Sullivan Lagniappe columnist

I usually don’t pay much attention to the doings of celebrities. Of course celebrity stories and gossip are the fuel that fires the steam engine of the majority of Americans’ consciousness, I am just happen to be unconscious to it.

My lack of attention declared, I have to admit that once in a Hale-Bop comet a celeb story comes along that demands my attention in the way a nude photograph of Phyllis Diller or a high-speed wreck involving two cars full of clowns would. On these rare occasions I become one of the celeb-centric flock and stare at the freak show in bewilderment, amusement and disgust.

The object of my very rare celebrity focus is Mel Gibson’s current family vacation with special houseguest Britney Spears. You know when this odd pairing was announced there was a reality show producer somewhere in Hollywood trying to get his people to get in touch with the devil’s people in an attempt to trade his soul for the rights to bring his camera crew into that slice of life.

The background on the story is that the Gibsons were neighbors with Spears back when they all lived on Crazy Street in Alcoholic View Estates, which is somewhere in Malibu. I am sure that between all the backyard barbeques, yard sales and neighborhood watch meetings they became fast friends with Britney and now are trying to provide some support and family for the troubled “entertainer.”

That is some testament to how sprayed-roach-crazy Brittany’s mother and father must be, when the she is seeking out the solid rock of Mel Gibson’s family as a surrogate. To be a fly on the wall while Brit pours out her heart to a 12-scotch-deep Mel Gibson would be have to be one of voyeurism’s sweetest delights.

So here is the deal; Mel and the Mrs. have a vacation property in Costa Rica, which I’m sure came in handy for a weekend retreat while Mel was filming the romantic comedy “Apocalypto” in nearby Mexico. So recently the Gibson’s decided to get away from it all for a little Central American vacation with Mel’s dad – who, by the way, believes that the World Trade Center buildings were brought down by an inside job remote control explosion and not by Al Qaeda-piloted airplanes – and the definition of mental stability, Britney Spears. How am I doing on the ingredients list for crazy stew?

I am not sure how celebrities do the vacation thing, but I guess they packed up the family truckster, which I am confident had wings and at least two jet engines, and headed to Costa Rica with Britney in tow. I wonder if they took Ms. Spears under the auspices of helping her through a hard time, but really had designs on using her as a sitter for the Gibson’s younger children…no, even Mel is not that crazy.

As ridiculous as the premise of Mel and Britney talking about their demons while playing ping-pong while being fanned with palm fronds by the native wait staff seems, maybe it is just the thing to help both of them. Maybe in the midst of Britney affecting a sensationally bad British accent and Mel ranting about the Jews, both of them will see how out of touch with sanity they are.

Or maybe they will just sit in front of a television watch “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome” and make motor-boat sounds with their lips. I am not really sure. Either way it is enough to make me pay attention to them, which is saying something.

Sean Sullivan is Lagniappe lagniappe columnist. Contact him at ssullivan@lagniappemobile.com.

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