By Ashley Toland Editor

Council’s little drinking problem

Let me just say I have a liquor-column writing hangover.

I am sick of writing about ABC agents and undercover stings and fines and membership cards and licenses being revoked and/or suspended. I’m over it.

I really just wanted to write a sweet little something or other about annexation and/or cruise ships (maybe have the mayor rubbing SPF 30 on CJ or Reggie or somebody’s back in the “all adult” area of the Fantasy, while scheming to annex every Wal-Mart within a 50 mile radius into the city). But since the Mobile City Council has turned into some sort of branch of the ATF and is sentencing local businesses “to death” essentially, I feel obliged to write yet another column about this issue that has gotten many shaken and stirred.

At the past two meetings, the council revoked the business licenses of several convenience stores, (including the Sage Avenue Chevron at 139 S. Sage Ave., a Clark Oil station at 3948 Government Blvd., and a First Stop at Spring Hill and Ann, among others), all who have been caught selling alcohol to undercover cadets three times in a three-year period.

The council did amend the resolutions to “graciously” reinstate their licenses if they would voluntarily surrender their liquor licenses to the ABC Board for a year – so they can sell gas and Jolly Ranchers, but no jolly juice.

All of the owners of these stores say alcohol sales are not only about 20 percent of their total revenue, but it also drives up other sales, as people will get gas or other items in the process. If they don’t have alcohol, people will just travel to another station where they can get gas, beer and everything they need in one stop. They all say this is about a $250,000 death penalty to their businesses.

But do they all deserve the only soda and gas chamber?

Certainly stores who sell to minors with reckless disregard should be shut down, but most of these owners had employed many techniques to try and curb this.

Most had installed special cash registers where you have to enter in a person’s date of birth before you can complete the sale of alcohol; others had completed the ABC Board’s voluntary “Responsible Vendor Program” or a similar one offered by the MPD or both. Others make employees sign a sheet before every shift that states they are to check everyone’s Ids, no exception. They all say they have zero tolerance programs and every person who has ever been caught has been immediately fired. But still, they say they are at the mercy of their clerks, who, for a variety of reasons, slip up at times.

Now let me go ahead and make this clear: No one wants underage kids drinking. Lord knows, they are the biggest idiots on the planet when they chug down their bottles of Strawberry Hill or six packs of Natty Light. No one needs that. And certainly no one wants them out driving around killing their idiot selves or even worse, innocent people. No one wants that at all. Of course not. But shutting down businesses all over town and ruining people’s livelihoods isn’t going to stop that – unfortunately.

You say, “Ashley, it could help though.” I say, eh, maybe. Kids will drink Pine Sol if they think it will get them drunk because it’s what they do. And before you start saying, “My lord, this girl is advocating selling bubble gum and Bud Light to kids on their morning commute to Baker, she is crazy,” just stop right there. I am not saying that at all – I am just saying I think this penalty is too severe, unfair and uneven, especially for those stores who have demonstrated they have done their due diligence.

First of all, it’s an absolutely ridiculous standard – three violations in three years? Let’s do the math on that, shall we? Let’s just say a gas station has an average of 40 alcohol sales per day, that’s 280 per week and 14,560 per year, which over three years adds up to 43,680 transactions. Now we all know, the times they get caught aren’t the only times it’s happening, but EVEN STILL, the percentages are crazy unfair.

Councilwoman Gina Gregory told the owners she understood they had tried all these different tactics, but if they couldn’t control their employees, “maybe they should get out of the alcohol sales business.”

After the meeting, the MPD announced they had also busted several restaurants, including WOW Wingery and La Pizzeria. Oh great! Because I’m sure La Pizzeria is where all the crazy kids go these days to get their wine coolers along with a $30 filet – puh-leez – give me a break!

But that is exactly my point, and this is what really irritates me.

I promise you, the MPD could bust every single restaurant or gas station in town three times in three years if they really put their minds to it (Why? Because again it’s a ridiculous standard), including the mayor’s favorite steak joint. Can you imagine the outrage it would cause if the council started doing this to say Ruth’s Chris, NoJa or The Trellis Room in The Battle House? OMG! The screaming would be incessant.

And I’m just so certain they would sit up on their high horses and tell David Cooper he shouldn’t be in the “alcohol sales” business. No, that wouldn’t happen in a million jillion years, and they know it. But it’s perfectly fine to lecture and punish the Vietnamese refugee whose entire life is built around his little convenience store.

Somebody please pass him a shot of Pine Sol.

Ashley Toland is Lagniappe editor. Contact her at ashleytoland@lagniappemobile.com.

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