Mobile Magnified

Don’t ‘piss’ off BayFest headliner Kid Rock

Well, my gossip-loving creatures, we managed to dodge the Gustav bullet, and now as we sit and wait to see where Ike will strike, I already feel a bit of lawlessness and misrule in the air. I think it has something to do with the barometric pressure.

Anyway, while we may not have felt the effects of Gustav all that much, many areas in town have reported Category Five levels of scoop, and of course, we were live on the scene in Boozie windbreakers to capture all the action.

So board up the windows and grab some bottled water and/or wine and enjoy.

We’re going to the Chapel …

The Fruit Loop spies reported to me last week that a local beloved lesbian couple won an extravagant wedding in San Diego, Cal, where such unions are legal.

Mobilians Cari Searcy and Kim McKeand have won the “Here Comes the Pride,” wedding package, celebrating the California Supreme Court’s recent ruling to legailize same-sex marriage.

The contest was sponsored by the San Diego tourism industry. More than 200 participants from across the nation entered to win a “dream wedding” in San Diego. They were asked to explain in 250 words or less why they deserved this prize. Their highly-publicized battle with Alabama courts resonated with the judges.

“McKeand and Searcy met in college and moved seven years ago to Mobile, Ala., where they currently live openly as a lesbian couple. Three years ago, McKeand gave birth to the couple’s son Khaya who later went into conjunctive heart failure and needed open-heart surgery at just 3-months-old. After Searcy was denied parental training by nurses at the hospital, because she wasn’t Khaya’s biological parent, she pusued legal adoption of her son.

“The state of Alabama denied Searcy’s petition, because she and McKeand were not legally married. In fighting for their rights as parents, the couple has set precedent as the first LGBT couple in Alabama to pursue second parent adoption,” according to the press release.

The couple’s wedding package includes a marriage license, round-trip air transportation, five nights of accommodations at Kimpton’s Hotel Solamar in downtown San Diego, dinner at some of San Diego’s finest restaurants, theater tickets to the Tony Award-winning Old Globe theatre and LGBT Diversionary Theatre, museumpasses, a couple’s massage and more.

We wish this happy couple all the best.

Maybe the Mobile tourism industry could sponsor a similar wedding package – maybe for CMT’s show “My Big Fat Redneck Wedding,” which by the way, may be the best show on television right now.

Happy PBRday!

Speaking of celebrations, it seems a local man celebrated his recent birthday at the bar at Fletcher’s BBQ on Cottage Hill Road. The birthday boy blew out the candles on a cake decorated like a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon, his favorite brew. Nothing marks another year of livin’, like a PBR cake, washed down by a warm swig of PBR! Move over ice cream!

Kid Rock gets pissy

BayFest announced an absolutely stellar line-up last week, which includes Nelly, Bow Wow, Darius Rucker (yes Hootie. And apparently he is a country star now), Wynonna Judd and Kid Rock.

Let’s just hope the BayFest organizers get Mr. Rock’s rider right, as he does not take kindly to being mistreated backstage.

After canceling a recent gig in England, Mr. Rock told an area newspaper exactly why.

“They treated me like a f*ck. There was just one trailer for my whole band. We had no water, no bathroom, no rider.

“The final straw was when they wouldn’t give my crew any food or drinks vouchers.

“I called the promoter and told him he had two hours to get it sorted ,or I was out. They did nothing so I visited the promoter’s office, took a piss on his couch and left.”

Now I know our BayFest folks will make sure that he’s given a big ol’ heaping helping of Southern hospitlality, as they always take good care of the artists who visit our city.

But that doesn’t always stop backstage bathroom weirdness. If you remember last year,Velvet Revolver left a poop-filled blender in their trailer. WTF?

We are still trying to figure out if it was Weiland or Slash’s um, “deposit.” My money is on Weiland. Slash is way too sophisticated for that nonsense.

Anyway, I am really excited about the festival, which is on the streets of downtown Mobile, October 3-5. Tickets are avaiable at bayfest.com.

It’s on Like a Chicken Bone

This story was overheard by a Boozie spy at a local bar last week. There are many things wrong with it.

Apparently, a couple was riding along in the man’s car. The passenger’s side window was either broken or just gone but there was no window. The lady had been drinking a little and was feeling no pain, so she didn’t mind the fresh air, until it began storming.

Apparently there was a plastic bag in the car somewhere, so she grabbed it and attempted to put it over the window to shield her from the rain.

Unbeknownst to her, her honey had filled the plastic bag with a tub of gnawed on chicken bones, which he had finished off earlier.

I guess the lady didn’t notice all of the chicken carcasses in the bag before she flung it up on the window because they poured all over her head. I’m sure suddenly the rain was the least of her concerns.

Here’s Darwin

If you’ve been wondering where Darwin has been lately, we can tell you. As he was covering Hurricane Gustav in New Orleans, he was in a photo by Lagniappe photographer Dan Anderson, who was on a freelance assignment. The shot of Darwin was featured on the New York Times’ Web site during the storm.

Well kids, that’s all I got for this one. Stay indoors, if necessary. And just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ chicken bone lovin’, I will be there. Ciao.

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

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