Mobile Magnified

The other side of ‘Mr. Coon’s’ story and MoCo boobs

Hello everybody and Happy BayFest!

BayFest is a happy time in the Boozester’s life every year. It brings such great live music, such great frivolity and fun, and probably the best gossip of the year. From the crazy dirty rockers who play here to the lovely local “ladies” who end up on their tour buses, it’s always a bountiful feast for this gossip journalist.

(And yes, I have been on a tour bus or two, but it was just for research purposes.)

So make sure you pick up the next issue for all of that scandaliciousness but don’t worry, we got plenty to tackle this issue, including the exciting and dramatic conclusion of Coon-gate!

One hot coon

If you remember, a few issues ago, we had a spy report on an “incident”involving a raccoon at Café 615’s Sunday brunch.

Yes, seriously. And this is why I love this job.

Anyway, the initial report from the first spy said a couple (a man wearing a seersucker suit and a lady in a large hat) left a caged raccoon in the blistering sun on the back of their truck while they had brunch at the LoDa eatery.

According to that spy, who was another patron, some of the wait staff noticed this and got concerned about the little critter’s well-being. Tempers flared, authorities were called, and a raccoon was rescued (or murdered, depending on which side you believe).

“The lady friend in the large hat” involved in the incident decided to write in to give their side of the story.

“Boozie:Understanding that you are not a ‘true journalist,’ I will cut you some slack…(Finally someone realizes I’m just a gossip peddler! Hallelujah!)

“In the interest of honesty and fairness however I think you need to set the record straight,” she wrote.

The lady says the Café 615 people were all wrong, as she and her man-friend were carefully caring for the coon as they munched on their brunch. (Which I do that all the time – eat a bite of Eggs Benedict, fan the coon, bite, fan, bite, fan. No big deal.)

“In fact, my wonderful gentleman friend parked on the sidewalk under a tree and in the shade – and even left water and checked on Mr. Coon – several times over the course of our…brunch. ..We were NOT parked out front – he was NOT wearing a seersucker suit ….”

She went on to say they had planned to let the raccoon go around Dog River immediately following their meal, which is what they had done with the other raccoons that had entered her house through her cat door. It’s a common problem in these parts.

She speculated the staff’s interference probably cost the raccoon his life, as he was carted away by Animal Control.

I hope this helps set the record straight, and clearly we have all learned something from this. I’m not really sure what exactly, but I’m sure one day when we are all faced with a similar coon-brunch situation it will become completely clear.

What’s the dillyo, NYT?

I guess we’re just chopped liver – to the New York Times- anyway.

In their Friday”Escapes” section, they featured our own lovely little East Bank utopia, Fairhope.

It says the usual stuff – but under “Pros” (for Fairhope) the reporter notes,” When the urge to go to a big town hits, it’s not so far from Pensacola, Fla; Biloxi, Miss; or even New Orleans.”

But no mention of the city that’s just a Bayway away.

(Note to NYT: We have a really tall building now, and we almost had an Air Force tanker contract – hellllooooo?)

Mobile, however,is included in the adjacent map – along with the other three cities actually called out in the article.

But where was our shout out, NYT?

Overheard

A Boozie spy said she was in the Rite-Aid at Ann and Government one evening last week, when a lady in the check-out line grabbed a Star or US Weekly or some mag that had an article alleging Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston had dinner together while they were both in Toronto for a film festival. This really upset the lady, who grabbed the tabloid and said to the spy and the cashier, “They did not have dinner together. They were just in the same city together. I wish they would leave them alone.”

The cashier just raised her eyebrows. The spy said she just looked at the lady like she was crazy.

We hope the tabloids leave Brad and Jen alone, for this poor lady’s sake, if nothing else.

Cyberstalking

Every now and then when I get desperate for scoop, I troll the Internet to see what you crazy Mobilians are doing out in cyberspace.

I stumbled across one Web site, subarbanoblivion.com, which seems to be a place for stay-at-home moms to vent and support each other.

A Mobilian posted how she had heard they were casting for another season of the “Real Wives of Orange County,” and she said they ought to come down here and make the “Real Wives of Mobile County.”

Then she wrote what the show would be all about – I’m almost positive she doesn’t live in Spring Hill.

“The Real Housewives of Mobile County don’t plot and scheme to marry a rich man, they marry the man who stole their heart, and stick by him for richer or for poorer.

“The Real Housewives of Mobile County don’t meet up at the spa, they meet for weekly playgroups and everyone brings a dish so no one has to bear the brunt of feeding a houseful of moms and kids.

“The Real Housewives of Mobile County don’t wear runway designer clothes, they wear the best Target and Dillards have to offer so they can keep up with their runaway toddlers.

“The Real Housewives of Mobile County don’t dream of buying a larger mansion, they dream of buying a larger washing machine so as to cut their laundry time in half.

“The Real Housewives of Mobile County don’t wear ten carat diamonds, they hang out with ten of their friends behind the diamond at their kids t-ball games,” she wrote.

I thought this was all sweet and nice….until I read the next line…

“The Real Housewives of Mobile County don’t get breast implants, they get mastitis and thrush as they gladly breastfeed their babies, and revel in the larger cup size that goes with it.”

Mastitis and thrush? Ewwww. Get some salve or something, MoCo housewives!

In remembrance

We were saddened to hear about the loss of one of LoDa’s most beloved fixtures.

“Joey Karr, best known for working at Picklefish, fought severe head trauma from a car accident for four days before leaving the party early on Sept. 17.

“He had been a cook at both the LoDa and WeMo Picklefishes, Callaghan’s, Jim Cannon Brewery, Hurricane Brewing and Heroes.

“Joey was 28 years old and had attended Faulkner Community College in the Culinary Arts Program, McGill-Toolen Catholic High School and St. Pius School, where his son Aiden Joseph Karr currently attends daycare,” a friend wrote to us.

“Joey loved to cook but the greatest love of his life was his son Aiden, who will be 2-years-old in December. Over the last couple of years the Irish Tattooed Lad could be seen strolling his son to every event in Downtown. Next to Aiden, Joey loved Alabama football, a wide range of music and his family(which included his friends).”

We extend our sympathies to his family and friends during this difficult time.

Well kids, that’s all I got. Make sure to grab your BayFest tickets (www.bayfest.com), and I’ll see you downtown. If you misbehave or witness anything scandalous, please let me know. And just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ mastitis lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

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