Mobile Magnified

Boozie’s Halloween report and hanging with famous folks

Well, my little ghosts and goblins, you certainly treated me more than you tricked me this Halloween. And I thank you kindly for that.

I’ve also gotten my hands on some other delicious dish from LoDa to London. So without further ado, have your mother check this gossip candy for needles and then dig on in!

A-listing across the pond

We hear a former Mobile gal is hanging out with some really big rock stars across the pond. A little birdie sent me a link to the entertainment page of the Evening Standard, a major newspaper in London, showing the local lady hanging out with Noel Gallagher of the band Oasis.

“While Noel constantly had a drink in hand, his brother Liam called it a night at 10:30 p.m. and went straight home to bed.

“The former hellraiser (Liam) really has chilled out in recent years, and headed home to his wife Nicole Appleton and their kids.

“Noel was later spotted having a tender moment with a brunette in the back of a cab – don’t worry, his girlfriend Sara was there too,” the story read.

My spy tells me the brunette Noel is having a “tender moment” with is none other than Soul Kitchen owner Brad Young’s sister. Word on the street is she dates someone else associated with the band. You go girl!

A Real House of Horrors

I have heard some complaints from furious parents/folks who unwittingly went or took their little bumblebees or goblins to the “House of Horrors” in the Festival Centre in the days leading up to Halloween.

The people I spoke with said it was a classic “bait and switch,” as they were expecting bowls of eyeball grapes, spaghetti intestines and maybe a mummy or zombie jumping out of a dark corner here or there.

Instead, they were “tricked” into exposing their small children into far more disturbing scenes, courtesy of the Calvary Assembly of God, whose leadership and members thought it would be a good idea to try and convert people at their Haunted House.

The scenes in this “House of Horrors” included a bar room scene where a man is drinking heavily. Soon his “stepdaughter” joins him to do a line of cocaine off the bar. Later she falls out and dies on the bar and an unconcerned “bouncer” just lets her lay there, saying he doesn’t care.

And then it gets much scarier. They have a morgue scene where the “dead girl” is laid out on the table and a doctor warns the people that her distraught mom would soon be entering. Then the girl’s mother comes into identify the body and screams and cries and acts all crazy.

My sources say they also showed brutal scenes of Jesus being beaten from “The Passion of the Christ,” which if I remember correctly had a NC-17 rating, when first released.

At the end of the “House of Horrors,” they were taken into a “prayer room,” where people prayed for them and asked them to accept Jesus in their hearts.

“I’m a Christian, but it really upset me how they didn’t show the other side of it – God’s forgiveness. It was all ‘you are going straight to hell,’” said one girl who took her friend’s 7-year-old son.

Another said, “good message, questionable delivery.”

I’m sure these Assembly of God folks were well-intentioned, but they need to clearly label what they are doing and let parents decide if those are the kinds of weighty issues they think their 5-and 6-year olds are ready to handle.

I saw numerous billboards for this all over town, and they were completely misleading. The Mobile City Council releases them from having to have a business license every year, and I hope next year the councilors will consider urging them to make it crystal clear what kind of “house of horrors” people and their children are about to enter.

Make mine sausage

Thankfully, the House of Horrors did not show an equally horrific scene similar to one that happened at a Midtown pizza joint a couple of weeks ago. It seems a couple who claimed they hadn’t seen each other in a while were making out at their table – lots of deep tonsil hockey, I hear.

And apparently, the lovebirds were unaware that everyone sitting at the bar could see under their table, where let’s just say, it’s probably a safe bet to say this girl likes sausage on her pizza. As she was definitely playing with her man’s. After everyone at the bar had seen enough of the “meat lovers,” the waitress went up and asked them to stop.

Slaughter Kitchen returns

My spies tell me the costumes at the Soul Kitchen did not disappoint this year. The one I heard the most about was a collaborative effort among three guys who dressed as a bag of weed, a pack of papers and a joint. What – no bong? I wonder if they did any “research” while creating their costumes. Hmmmmm

Widespread debauchery

Many folks from the Port City headed over to the Crescent City to see Widespread Panic at UNO Lakefront Arena for their Halloween show, which is always a crowd favorite. I hear some Mobilians were spotted still out partying on Bourbon Street at 11 a.m. Saturday morning.

There were also tons of creative costumes at the show, including a pig, taco, Cookie Monster and a guy dressed as a doctor handing out prescriptions for Xanax and the Morning After pill, according to one of our spies, who was a dressed as a devil in a blue dress.

A family tradition

Hank Williams, Jr., took time off from campaigning for John McCain and Sarah Palin to make a stop at The Wharf in Orange Beach, Saturday, November 1.

I’m told he had on an Alabama shirt and said he had been at the Tide’s Homecoming earlier that day.

Apparently there was some sort of problem with a lady who wanted a sausage dog for $5 but she only had enough for a $3 hot dog. A gentleman beside her overheard this and offered her the $2 difference. This really pissed her off (for some reason) and trouble ensued, though our spy did not hang around to see what happened.

“The women’s restroom was really scary,” another spy added.

Well kids, that’s all I got this issue. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or just some plain ol’ sausage lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

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