Mobile Magnified

Ladies, we’re going to have to have a talk. While I appreciate you gals providing me with a bounty of material, the nudity has got to stop. All I’m hearing lately is that girls are flashing anything and anyone who will stand still. And it’s happening all over town and over the Bay. Sweeties, Mardi Gras ended months ago. If you need that much attention, get a dog.

Welcome woo-woo

Local favorites, Grayson Capps and the Stumpknockers, returned to Callaghan’s Sunday, June 11, after touring Europe the past few months. Obviously, a lot of folks were jonesin’ for the Grayson, as it was jam-packed, including a rather large contingent from Mississippi. I’m told one ‘Sippi girl decided to really give the guys a really warm welcome back by sitting in a chair directly in front of Grayson, wearing a skirt sans underwear. No wonder Grayson and the boys always like to stop at Callaghan’s.

Road Rash

Bikers and hooters united at the “Road Rash” bike rally at Lower Latitudes in Spanish Fort, June 10 and 11. My spy tells me there was a “gentleman” there filming his own version of “Girls Gone Wild,” and the ladies did not disappoint. Boobs, girl-on-girl action and a wet T-shirt contest, which didn’t involve many T-shirts. Yikes. I feel certain many went home with a rash, and it wasn’t from the road.

We even heard the wife of the “gentleman” in question may wonder if he now has a porn addiction.

What happens in Vegas…

Stays in Vegas, unless I find about it. It seems a local business executive and his wife were in Las Vegas over Memorial Day weekend and secured tickets to Madonna, which he said was absolutely incredible, even if you hate her. He was about 25 feet from her as she descended from the ceiling riding a crystal ball. He said she looked incredible. As he and the wife were walking out, they met and chatted with Paris, Nikki and Kevin Connolly (Of HBO’s “Entourage.” He said they did not appear to be intoxicated, were gracious and nice but Kevin is short as hell.

Hatin’ on the Prez

It seems our local W-hatin’ graffiti artist has struck again! If you look really hard while driving on Old Shell Road towards McGregor, you might be able to catch a glimpse of a rather large skull painted on the side of a building, with “Kill the Prez!” printed right next to it. Not that we’re advocating anything like that. No need to visit us, Secret Service. We’re just the messengers.

Overheard in Mobile…

While hanging out in the records room in the Mobile Police Headquarters on Government Street, we overheard a racial incident. An elderly woman waiting on an accident report was reportedly telling a black man behind her how a “colored” person had hit her vehicle. The man proceeded to inform her that it is 2006 and the term “colored” isn’t appropriate anymore. She didn’t seem fazed. Too bad.

Hot coffee on the Causeway

It seems some local lovelies have found a great way to make some extra cash out on the Causeway, and it doesn’t involve shucking anything or wrestling alligators. Near the former location of the Shoulder, our favorite place to dry out after a weekend binge, some ladies have set up shop and are selling coffee every morning.

According to several men who have made the coffee stop part of their morning routine, the ladies are particularly attractive, oh, and the coffee’s good too. I’ve been told the line for hot java is sometimes quite long. Good for you, girls!

Dr. Doolittle to the rescue

It seems a Mobile Infirmary doctor employed a little ingenuity and some doctor’s lounge doughnuts to help save a red tailed hawk from possible injury last week. The hawk had proudly captured a squirrel and was looking for a place to chow down, when he inadvertently flew into one of the Infirmary’s parking garages.

Hawks may be pretty, but they’re not too smart, and this guy couldn’t find his way back out of the garage and was banging himself around a bit. It seems one of the doctors grabbed some doughnuts and used them to lure the hawk out of the garage by tossing them ahead of the bird of prey. Who knew hawks like doughnuts?

Eventually the hawk, with his squirrel, left the garage. Who knows, maybe he flew out to the Causeway for some coffee to go with his rodent and doughnuts.

Spotted

WKRG’s Alan Sealls dining at Ed’s Seafood Shed Sunday, June 4…. Councilfolks Ben Brooks and Connie Hudson lunching at Café 219 after the June 6 council meeting…WNSP talk show host at Heroes before the Ben Lee/Nickel Creek show Thursday, June 15.

Well, that’s all for now children. The summer’s heating up, so I’m sure the nudity and buffoonery will continue. So remember, whether it’s rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or just some plain ol’ biker nudity, I’ll be there. Ciao!

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

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