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I can hardly believe this issue celebrates four years of Lagniappe. Have I really been throwing tasty gossip your way for FOUR years? I guess so. But it seems like only yesterday I was talking about man sandwiches and news bunnies, stallions and hams and such. Oh well, enough about the past, there’s plenty of fresh, hot-off-the-grill, out-of-the-oven “beer nues” cakes to fill you up. So dig in!

Soul Patrol Update

I hear Taylor Hicks was recently spotted in his hometown of Birmingham a few weeks ago, partying it up at a few of his old, favorite watering holes, while being escorted by a very large bodyguard. Word is he was telling a tale of how surreal his seemingly overnight success is to him, especially when he was approached by baseball great Pete Rose. According to our Iron City spy, Rose came up to him as he was walking down a street in L.A. and said, “hey aren’t you Taylor Hicks?” When Taylor confirmed he was indeed, “Charlie Hustle” asked for his autograph.

Our Florida Panhandle spies reported that Taylor was in Grayton Beach the first week of June. I was able to confirm this because Taylor posed for a picture with the employees of a local Citgo station, who proudly framed it. The local newspaper promptly ran the photo, too.

And just when I thought I had heard all the Taylor news fit to print, I got even more. It seems local restaurateur and the Nappie award-winning “Most Eligible Bachelor” Noell Broughton met Taylor at the Playboy Mansion last week for a night of what I’m sure included Scripture reading, debates on foreign policy and things that would be illegal to print! (I hope so anyway).

BayFest scoop

My spy who has infiltrated BayFest said Lynrd Skynyrd and Al Green are both probably coming and there was also a good chance four or five top rock groups like Shinedown and 10 Years might be coming. And that they are trying to finalize even bigger acts for the downtown festival, which will be Oct. 6-8. Can’t wait for the tour buses to start rolling in.

The News Stallion has not taken a Mare

Former WPMI investigative reporter Josh “The News Stallion” Bernstein called the Boozie hotline last week and asked us to please spread the word he is NOT engaged. He claims numerous Mobilians have been calling him up over the last couple of weeks to congratulate him on his recent engagement, which is nothing more than vicious gossip, he says.

“I’m not even dating anyone,” he tells Boozie. Awww. Poor Stallion. No ladies out in Sacramento? Well, I’m sure WPMI would let you come back and be the Chief of their Food Police. Watch out Walton!

Silly Bishop! Excommunication is for sinners

My Eastern Shore undercover religious operative tells me a self-appointed Episcopal bishop recently excommunicated every member of his congregation who showed up at his church a few Sundays ago. The evangelical dirt is that apparently no one has been able to find out how this guy actually came to be a bishop. Is it just me or wouldn’t you think that he would have excommunicated all the lazy, late-sleeping sinners who didn’t show up? So all of you looking for a church who prefers you to stay home, I think we’ve got one for you.

Locks of Love

Derek Fidler, drummer for Doug Previto and the Family Jewels of Veet’s fame, recently donated his mane to “Locks of Love,” which makes wigs for underprivileged children who have lost their hair due to a variety of medical conditions. If you recall, The head Jewel, Mr. Previto donated his rather long, lustrous mullet to the cause some time ago. But it looks like it may be time to pull out the scissors again, Doug! That follicle fish is starting to flop again. It’s for a good cause. Come on.

“Never Say Goodbye”

At press time, I got word there was a birthday party Saturday night, July 15, at The Bike Shop in honor of Woody Walker and another friend. Apparently, the theme was ”’80s Prom” and even featured a cheesy backdrop for prom pictures. So if you saw, girls with poofy dresses and big hair downtown last weekend, donning corsages, they were probably just partygoers. Otherwise, you just ran into some wayward Sara-suma-saw girls. Let’s just hope none of the party-going girls (or the wayward Sara-suma-saw ones either, for that matter) lost anything in anyone’s back seat that night.

Singled Out

The American Cancer Society still has a few spaces open for eligible bachelors and bachelorettes willing to be auctioned off in their Singles Auction at the Beach House Grill Aug. 24. I hear there are already some hotties who have agreed to sell themselves for a night to benefit this great cause. There may even be a local TV newsie or two in the mix. Maybe the News Stallion should show up, since he’s soooo unattached and all. Their profiles will soon be posted on 95 WKSJ’s Web site – www.95ksj.com. So if you’re interested, please e-mail Amanda at Amanda.Alvarez@cancer.org or call 251.414.1303.

Just asking…

Which local politico apparently decided he just didn’t feel like going on a business trip to China – the day before they were set to leave – after your tax dollars had already paid for it?

Well, that’s all I got now, kids. If I can remember what happens at the Nappie Awards Party I will let you know next issue. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or just some plain ol’ backseat prom night lovin’, I will be there. Ciao.

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

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