Mobile Magnified

It’s been a busy couple of weeks in the gossiphere, so I’m not going to bore you with my usual introduction, unless you’re already bored, then I’m sorry. But my entertainment operatives have traveled near and far and sent the Boozester a secret package, chock full of delectable treats, and I’m going to share it with you. So dig in!

American Idolism

I had two local spies file reports last week about their “American Idol” tour adventures in both Austin and Atlanta. Both were old school Taylor Hicks fans, long before he was thrown into the spotlight by the uber-popular FOX reality show.

They concurred the “Idol” show was a wee bit different than seeing Taylor playing at Monsoon’s or the Flora-Bama, but said the after-shows were a blast from the past, as he played clubs in each locale, with his band now known as the Little Memphis Blues Orchestra, who will be playing right here at the Bluegill Saturday, Sept. 30. Hmmm. Interesting.

Everything’s bigger and better in Texas

Our Boozie correspondent in Austin and her friend went to the “American Idol” tour Sunday, Sept. 10. They had tons of fun, though they did comment they felt as if they were just about the only ones “not going through puberty or menopause.” But they didn’t care, especially since the beer line was about a third of the hot dog and soda line.

Everyone put on a good show from Lisa Tucker to Paris to Bucky to Chris Daughtry, Elliot, McPhee and of course, Taylor.

But there was one who brought them more joy than anyone and that would be the governor of the state of cheese, Ace Young, whose performance caused them to literally laugh out loud and ask “is he for real?”

During Gov. Cheese’s performance, he ripped off his shirt down to a wife beater to show off his muscles, which did impress the 13-year-old female contingent. Later, he turned around with his back to the audience, put on a toboggan (skull cap, knit cap, whatever you want to call it) and then dramatically turned back around, which caused the little girls to scream for some reason. (Oh my god! He put on a hat! I’m going to cry!) But the topper was when he did some sort of thing with his fist, where he was making this heart beat motion on his chest, while looking ridiculously seductive out into the crowd. Hee hee hee hee.

The Atlanta spies reported the same exact performance by His Royal Cheesiness and said they laughed out loud as well.

Anyway, the after-show in Austin was at the famed, old school blues bar, Antone’s. When the spies arrived, Little Memphis Blues Orchestra had already taken the stage and though this crowd thankfully contained people who were actually there to enjoy the music, there was a vicious group of menopause maidens camped out right in front of the stage, armed with digital cameras, just waiting for “a special guest appearance.”

Though the spies were a bit dismayed with the old bags literally asking them to move and telling them they had been standing there all night and they were blocking their view and so on and so forth, they said Little Memphis Blues Orchestra was amazing, making special mention of the performances by keyboardist Brian Less and guitarist Sam Gunderson .

Finally, the hens got their wish and Taylor joined the guys on the stage for the second set, which my secret agents said was just great, despite the barrage of camera flashes from the estrogen deprived.

During this set, the cameras also turned toward the upstairs VIP area of Antone’s, where Elliot, Bucky, Chris and Ace had just arrived.

Our 007s, who managed to make their way behind the velvet ropes, said Ace was trying to pick up some chicks, but they didn’t look too impressed. (See photo.)

While he was trying to unsuccessfully work his magic, the rest of the gang joined LMBO on stage for a few tunes, which they said was very good.

The night was about to end but not before Ace had to squirt one more bit of his EZ Cheez on Austin. The spies said they guessed he wasn’t getting enough attention because for some reason he went down on the dark, empty stage and sang a song all by his lonesome.

“It was just so sad,” they said.

Snake in Hotlanta

The Atlanta spies, including a Beach House Grill lovely, were backstage at the show Tuesday, Sept. 12. They reported that Kenny “the Snake” Stabler was there with his daughter, who apparently is a big fan.

The spies also went to the Little Memphis show at Smith’s Olde Bar, where they reported an abundance of old broads with cameras as well.

One Atlanta spy reported, “This old lady was trying to push us out of the way and said, ‘I have driven 350 miles to see him, and I’m not moving.’” Ladies, please!

But despite the rabid grannies, they said it was a really good show. Taylor also joined the guys there, and while the Idol crew never graced the stage, members of faves among the Auburn alum, Spoonful James, jammed with all the guys.

Little Memphis Blues Orchestra will play at the Bluegill Saturday, Sept. 30. While there is no guarantee Mr. Hicks will join them (the “Idol” tour will be over, so who knows), the spies all say even if he doesn’t, they are great. And it’s for Taylor’s charity of choice, KidOne, which provides transportation to medical appointments for Alabama kids and expectant mothers with no other means, so if he doesn’t show up and you complain, then you’re just tacky.

Reality star update

A Boozie informant sent in an update to the Boozie hot tip line (boozie@lagniappemobile,com) that our “Big Brother 3” local reality star, Jason Guy, who gained notoriety on the show for being the hot Christian, twenty-something virgin, has taken a job as the morning traffic reporter for the ABC news affiliate in Richmond, Va. The station’s Web site said he joined the team in August and would also bring viewers stories of local interest. According to the site, Guy has been in Los Angeles for the past four years working on the shows “The Amazing Race,” “The Biggest Loser,” and “Beauty and the Geek.”

The tipster also sent a link to a Friendster account which says Guy is engaged. So if he is putting the “virgin” in Virginia, I guess he won’t be for long.

Just asking…

Which downtown bar owner is apparently working on a new club on the west end of LoDa? We hear it may have a Cuban theme.

Well kids, that’s all I got this time. But next issue I’m sure I’ll have tons of BayFest misbehavior to report, so make sure to go downtown, drink copious amounts of alcohol and pass out on, say, a couch at Grand Central. Maybe even throw up if you’re feeling really crazy. If I remember it clearly enough, then you’ll read about it right here next time. If I don’t, then you’re probably safe. Hey, they don’t call me Boozie for nothin’! And remember whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or just some plain ol’ Gov. Cheese lovin’, I will be there. Ciao.

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

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