Cuisine Review

I ran seven miles today. I had to. All of the salt in my body has blown me up, and I have a splitting headache from sugar withdrawals.

Why do we eat so much rich, fatty food during the holidays? There are no parties that have roasted chicken and blanched green beans, and if you eat a salad it, is loaded with bleu cheese, nuts and other rich additions.

I am partied out. I want to eat nowhere, and since the last issue there has not been a free night to go to a restaurant. So why not a holiday party recap? Yes, holiday. Who really cares what you call this time of year? There are much more important issues and problems to confront than how we refer to something. Just doing my best to piss off the religious right!

The Lagniappe staff party started the season for me. This year it was a potluck affair. As usual, my brown sugar brie was swooned over with orgasmic celebration. Homemade hummus brought by Klee was smooth and creamy, jumping with garlic. The rest was bought, I believe. We are a diverse group that mixes well, but it sometimes reminds me of the office party. You know, where those that work together have inside jokes, stories and fun while the spouses try to be fit in.

The following Sunday was a casual neighborhood friends gathering. Here I had my first taste of much pork tenderloin. Kudos on the decorations here — what could have been a typical cheese ring mixture was shaped into a present with scallion ribbon. It was more savory than that you normally eat. Mild sausage wrapped in wonton was accompanied by raspberry preserves. The sweet jelly oozed into the sausage as the crunchy outer shell was compromised. The best was grilled shrimp wrapped in bacon — different and hot off the grill. As they came from the grill, the tender shrimp were gone in a second.

Then there was the dress-up party. Held two doors down, it is a coat and tie deal where I forgot the tie part and was a bit self-conscious at first. The food and drink is always good and beyond the pale. My favorite snack item was present, marinated tomato and Vidalia onion atop bacon mayonnaise on crouton-like toasts. I could eat my weight in these.

Every year I look forward to the cheese straws here as they are sharp, nippy and crispy. I ate lots of them. I also attacked a platter of grilled vegetables with a horseradish cream sauce — all of the asparagus was gone after my friend and I mowed it down. This was the first party with a personality present; you know the life of the party. A well-meaning, but very loud and sometimes inappropriate woman stole the show, as always. She is great entertainment and fun to talk to.

At a local legislator’s party, food was everywhere, including a famous caramel cake. One room was dedicated to seafood — delicious marinated crab claws, a creamy shrimp and grits and West Indies salad. In the kitchen area was a table groaning with desserts. Let’s see, I ate a sinful praline cheesecake, hidden with a sweet, runny brown sugar mixture and chopped pecans. I also tried some lemon balls rolled in fresh coconut, but not before I went downstairs and had a cup of bananas Foster hot from the pan.

Mini Reuben’s are always a hit at this party and they did not disappoint. Other than a well-regarded clothes matron who should not have worn low-rise pants — her underwear peeked out the top all evening — there was nothing other than engaging discussion. It is always a great party with plenty of interesting people to spend time with.

My office went to Ruth’s Chris, where I was accosted with a bell necklace at lunch. We had a great time, and I decreed that no one could order from the lunch menu. We blew it out with a table full of dinner-sized items. My steak was great (last time I ordered it without the butter — do not ever do this) and we got no work done the rest of the day.

On the Thursday before Christmas, there was a blind date set-up dinner we attended. We feasted on venison chili. Spicy, full of jalapenos it was really the best chili ever — in fact I encouraged my friend to make it in the upcoming chili cook-off. In a sterling silver dish with a sterling spoon we passed white cheddar Cheez-Its to crunch into the chili. Try it, you will like it. The salad contained parsley, green onion and celery in the mixed greens. Parsley is a nice addition to salad as it adds a slightly bitter bite. My wife made pot de crème, a rich chocolate pudding-like dessert with fresh whipped cream.

Friday night, we went to a drop-in dinner of homemade gumbo, turkey and the trimmings. The gumbo had a rich brown roux and was full of fresh seafood. My son ate three bowls. The turkey and dressing came from Naman’s — the dressing was slightly mushy, which is how I like it. I feasted on some addictive coconut macaroons someone brought.

Saturday morning was my last public event, a kid’s cookie decorating party with adults. Held early in the morning, the beer and Bloody Marys were flowing, but I stuck with coffee. There were about 10 dozen Krispy Kremes and I ate four (doughnuts, not dozen). They also served hot Marshall’s rolls, which in my opinion are a bit better than Sister Shubert’s and are made here in Mobile. This was along with 20 pounds of Conecuh sausage hot off the grill. I ate about a pound myself, stuffing them into the hot buttered rolls.

On Christmas day, I pushed myself to make something difficult — a walnut coriander beef Wellington with whole tenderloin. First, I removed the stems from fresh spinach and blanched them with fresh flat-leaf parsley sprigs. This and toasted walnuts went into the processor along with honey, cumin, coriander and fresh garlic. I spread it onto puff pastry and wrapped it around the tenderloin. It was incredible — e-mail me for the recipe.

I hope you didn’t eat as much as I did, and with New Year’s left to go, I may be living on apples.

Kinnon Phillips is Lagniappe cuisine editor. Contact him at kphillips@lagniappemobile.com.

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