By Sean Sullivan Lagniappe columnist

As hard as this might be to believe, there is trouble afoot on Capitol Hill. Some of our representatives have been doing things that might not be exactly representative of their constituency.

While kiting bad checks and hiding pay-off cash in one’s freezer may be standard fare for most of the citizenry; trying to bed underage boys might not make it on regular American’s “Things to Do” list. Treating the Congressional buildings like Caligula’s palace and privately gaining from legislating, well that is nothing new for our electeds. Also not new are the “October Surprises” the parties lob at each other in an election year.

The real surprise in this latest legislative scandal was not the attempt of a 50-year-old man to bed a 16-year-old boy, but that it wasn’t really his fault…the alcohol made him do it.

Mark Foley checked himself into rehab for alcoholism the day this story broke. Smart move if you want to hide out and evade the issue for a while. Foley is not the first to hide behind the shield of alcoholism to obfuscate the real issues. Don’t sick the AA army on me, I know alcoholism is a real disease many people fight, but a splash of whisky doesn’t make you start instant messaging minors and inquiring about their bodies.

Mark Foley needs to butch up and confront the issue head on and not fly the I-am-not-in- control-of-my-own-actions flag too highly. If you remember Massachusetts Rep. Barney Frank had a friend who was a male prostitute running a prostitution ring out of Frank’s home and Rep. Frank never used the addict defense. Although that story was spun more than the Himalayan Tilt-A-Whirl by Democratic strategists; Frank and his advisors never went the hide-out-in-rehab route.

In the Foley matter, of the few e-mails and instant messages sent to the Congressional page that have been leaked, not one of them was sent from Johnny Walker, Jim Beam, Jack Daniels or even that “Wild” Turkey (although who knows what is in the heart of the kickin’ chicken). If Foley wants to blame misspellings or poor syntax on his drinking, fine. But the fact that he sent the message in the first place is not the fault of any intoxicant. Remember, alcohol doesn’t send kinky e-mails to minors… politicians send kinky e-mails to minors.

I think somebody needs to take up for alcohol and keep its name from being drug through the mud every time someone needs an easy out. In July Mel Gibson’s anti-Jewish diatribe was blamed on the fact he was drunk. I’ve read the labels on cans while drinking many different beers and I’ve yet to see any that say “anti-Semitic rant inducing” additives tossed in amongst the barley and hops.

For sure the depressant nature of alcohol lessens one’s inhibitions and lets people act more freely, but alcohol though doesn’t create thoughts and feelings. Personally, a few too many beverages lower my inhibitions to a point where I show everybody I’m the “best” dancer at any given Mardi Gras ball or wedding. In others, the same booze seems to bring out more damaging, if not more embarrassing, behavior.

Whether it is an inappropriate e-mail, an anti-Jewish tirade or the best damn Gator, Moonwalk or Robot you’ll ever did see, it’s not the alcohol’s fault but person’s.

Believe me I’ve been taking responsibility for what happens when I combine too much booze and Midnight Star’s “No Parking On the Dance Floor” for years and it’s about time for others to follow suit.

Sean Sullivan is Lagniappe lagniappe columnist. Contact him at ssullivan@lagniappemobile.com.

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