Mobile Magnified

Geez, Louise! It’s been a strange couple of weeks here in Mob-town. Between BayFest, boobs and block parties, this little gossipmonger has been extremely overscheduled. I’m not complaining. I thank Jesus every day for all you people who bless me with the misbehavior I chronicle on this page every two weeks. Praise the Lord! Here are Boozie’s psalms for this issue.

BayFest lowdown

BayFest was an overwhelming success with record-breaking crowds filling the streets of downtown October 6-8. I knew it was going to be absolutely insane when I walked up Friday night to the Bienville Square entrance and the line was all the way down to Hayley’s.

My secret spy who is deep inside the BayFest organization said none of the artists really asked for anything weird on their riders (where they request what they want to have available backstage),well, except for Lynyrd Skynyrd.

It seems the senior southern rockers wanted an EMT and oxygen tank on the side stage while they performed Sunday night. Guys, when you start asking for medical supplies and personnel rather than hookers and booze, it may be time to consider retirement. Just maybe.

The other highlight of the weekend was what I like to call Boobfest 2006. At the modern rock stage Saturday night, local ladies made sure to show off their mammaries to the band and to the crowd by flashing the cameras on the stage. BayFest officials say the production manager finally had to get the camera guys to quit panning the crowd because there were just too many noonies popping up on the two giant screens next to the stage.

The VIP area was super fabulous this year, as it was moved back from the Riverview Ballroom to the Parking Garage on Royal Street. Not that there’s anything wrong with the Riverview, but you just actually feel like you’re right in the middle of the action when it’s in the garage.

Though I still question sometimes what the I stands for in VIP, as there seems to be so many “interesting” people in there, including one lady who had maybe two teeth. Not that toothless people can’t be important but it makes snobs like the Boozester wonder.

Local politicos spotted were city councilchicks Connie Hudson, Gina Gregory and their hubbies, as well as councildude Fred “Freddie D” Richardson and his family. Fred, who recently went on a tirade about the city’s noise ordinance at a city council meeting, didn’t seem to mind the tunes pumping from the various stages.

Also spotted were City Attorney Larry Wettermark, Chief of Staff Al Stokes, Sheriff Sam Cochran and Mobile County Commissioner Steve “the Hammer” Nodine. No word on if “Hammer” went to see Hammer.

Porn star falls on Alabama

My “Fruit Loop” spy said there were 11 good reasons (use your imagination – even I have limits) to be at B-Bob’s Friday, Oct. 20, as Colt Productions porn star, Tom Chase, dazzled the crowd with his, his, his, um, sparkling personality. It had nothing to do with his white G-string and the “package” inside. My spy described him “as more of a bear.” He said, “he was older, really short, hairy, very built, with a close-shaved beard.”

The “bear” grooved on the bar for about five minutes and then got down and shook his literal moneymaker all over the dance floor, as folks stuffed bills underneath his tiny string.

After the show, he posed for pictures “in the back” with people, showing “The Full Tommy,” so to speak.

Also in attendance was “The Largest Drag Queen in Captivity,” Miss Rosaline Heights, as well as local favorite, Venus, who both put on shows later that evening..

Campaigning on Conti

Speaking of the Fruit Loop, we hear the Democratic nominee for the U.S. House District One, Vivian Beckerle, who is running against Republican incumbent Jo Bonner, was “dancing and having a good ol’ time” at B-Bob’s at a fundraiser for her a couple of months ago. Apparently she is fond of White Russians. I guess she was hoping to pick up some alternative lifestyle votes or as my main gays call it – the fabulous vote.

South Reed Does It Up Right

I love the fall in Mobile. Not because it marks the end of 3000 degree heat, 110 percent humidity and hurricane season or because the trees pull out their lovely red, orange and yellow fall attire. No, it’s because it marks the beginning of block party season.

I had the opportunity to go to South Reed’s “Oktoberfest” themed fete and let me just say, those kids did it up right, with kegs of delicious imports and microbrews, including Harp and Sierra Nevada. Though there were some technical difficulties, there was also much fun to be had with the booze luge, a large block of ice with tunnels of liquor flowing freely through into the mouths of babes (and drunks and/or gossip columnists).

The Leinkauf party was also that same night and though I didn’t get to make it, I hear they had some pretty tasty chili, as many of the residents participated in their own chili cook-off. Thankfully no one lit a match in Leinkauf on Sunday.

Just asking….and answering

What was up with the dude walking down Government Street Thursday, Oct. 20 with nothing but a pair of skeleton pants on (you know, the ones with bones painted on them), which he had pulled down to expose his tighty whities? We’re not sure, but we hear he walked right by a police officer while his pants were down and when the officer gave him a look, he flipped him off. No word on how long it was before he was picked up. We’re thinking maybe two minutes.

Also, why were grown men dressed in Chewbacca, Yoda and Robin Hood costumes standing on the corner of Dauphin and Royal late last week? My society spy says it sounds like an SCS (Santa Claus Society) initiation to him..

Anyway, that’s all I got this time kids. Next issue, I should have Halloween, Greek Fest and Silverwood block party scoop, so be good. And just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ porn star lovin’, I will be there. Ciao.

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

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