By Sean Sullivan Lagniappe columnist

“Where do we go from here,” the wise prophet Alan Parsons once asked years ago. We didn’t listen to Alan though, as people are want no to listen to a prophet in his own time even if he is the head of a progressive rock band.

Where we’ve gone is the end of the line as it relates to music. I used to wonder in my youthful days enjoying the rapping of the “2 Live Crew,” what lyrical thresholds were left to be crossed? What I didn’t know were there were many more lyrical thresholds to cross after the 2 Live Crew put out songs with party beats and XXX lyrics. I always fancied that I would be an unshockable Dad one day, that any book, movie or song lyric couldn’t shake up my sensibilities.

I think I’m fixin’ to be shocked now, not because of racy content but lack of talent.

There is a hit record playing right now, as you read this, probably on hundreds of radio stations across America and that song is entitled “Laffy Taffy,” that’s it — just “Laffy Taffy.” The refrain of this song sticks to the title and repeats, “shake your laffy taffy, shake your laffy taffy, shake your laffy taffy.”

I’m not offended that the rappers want the exotic dancers to shake it to their songs, but you got to put more effort into a hit record than “shake that laffy taffy.” I just worry that there’s nothing new left for artists to sing about or new ways to sing about it. I just hope in 10 years we’re not reduced to songs about toasters and the kind of socks an artist likes to wear.

It is going to be interesting to see how my generation and our children interact when it comes to entertainment and fashion. If you’re 30 something or younger there is very little subject and lyric wise that didn’t get put in the songs you grew up listening to. And look at us, we turned out OK as a generation…well, maybe that is not a good argument.

As for fashion, what ability will we have to ever criticize anything our kids wear? I believe when the first pair of parachute pants were donned, the children of the ‘80s gave up any future right of fashion criticism. Every pair of acid-washed jeans and black concert t-shirt you ever wore brings you down off the perch of household clothes stylist. Swatches and jelly shoes should muzzle any aspersions we might cast as to the accessory choices of our offspring. I don’t know what the future of teenage clothing will hold, but I do know that I’ll have to be a hypocrite when I comment on the wild clothing choices of my child.

Maybe history will repeat itself and everything will go retro to like the early colonial period. Our sons and daughters will dress like pilgrims to show us their independence. We can then chastise them for wearing bonnets and buckle shoes and say things like “you’ll never get hired at a good job looking like that.”

Hopefully the music will go retro to the chamber music period, so I never end up arguing that gangsta’ rap of my generation was mo’ gangsta’ than the gangsta’ rap of my child’s generation. Where do we go from here? I think we go back to where we all started we just now have to see it through new eyes.

Wow, this is going to suck!

Sean Sullivan is Lagniappe lagniappe columnist. Contact him at ssullivan@lagniappemobile.com.

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