Netflix has a convenient feature that allows you to see all the movies you’ve previously rented for purposes of reminiscence and self-reflection. At this time of year, both activities should be undertaken with the greatest seriousness before you move forward into the New Year. You can ruminate on your rental patterns, the mistakes you’ve made, the two-hour increments of your life gone forever, the triumphs that you try to get your friends to rent and then get mad at them if their enthusiasm for the movie doesn’t match or exceed yours.
When I did this soul-searching exercise, I was able to develop a list of good and bad rentals from 2006. Since it’s the holidays, and you’re short on time, a list should be just the thing, so here it is, with my arbitrary but easy to read categories of films of distinction that I’ve rented this year.
Longest film/Biggest disappointment: “King-Kong.” The disappointment in this case actually took place within the film. I was not terribly excited about seeing this, then it started and old New York looked so cool and Jack Black was actually good, and I loved the costumes. Then they got to Skull Island and battled far, far too many computer-generated foes. Dinosaurs, giant bugs, and of course Mr. Kong himself. And these beasties frequently fought each other, too; it was unbearable! Now they’re advertising for an extended version of this movie with more effects?!? Do they fight aliens? God help us.
Romantic Comedy that was Neither: “The Break-Up.” I haven’t decided if it was less romantic or less funny, but this film failure opens with one of the most depressingly accurate couple fights I have ever watched and goes downhill from there. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Anniston’s characters behave cruelly to one another in scenes of retribution that aren’t funny in the slightest. Meanwhile, Judy Davis is totally wasted in a supporting role. What I thought would be a mindless but fun romantic comedy ended up being heartless instead. DO NOT rent on a date unless you’re looking for an excuse to actually break up.
Movie Review Readers Disagreed With the Most: “Crash.” My friends love to pick fights with me over my opinions in these pages, but since my instincts are so perfect and my taste so refined, their opportunities to disagree with me are blessedly rare. My well-deserved panning of the over-rated race soap opera “Crash” opened the flood gates. At first I simply disliked this shameless Oscar bait, but the more I was forced to discuss it, the more I found to hate about it. Then, Oscar voters took the bait and the vastly superior “Brokeback Mountain” lost Best Picture to this didactic “Grand Canyon” rip-off and we officially became enemies. Everyone else seems to think it’s great. You’re all crazy.
Highlights: Whenever my mom calls me to get a rental suggestion, since she fails to carry with her my Complete Works, including college papers, handsomely bound, which I presented to her for Mother’s Day, these are the movies I tell her to rent.
“The Squid and the Whale.” A minor masterpiece of writing and acting. Laura Linney and Jeff Daniels are fantastic as divorcing intellectuals, but it is the complex havoc their break-up wreaks on their sons that make this film so engrossing. I particularly liked the way the teenaged son aped his father’s literary posturing and I’d say this almost definitely happened to the writer and director, Noah Baumbach, in real life.
“Match Point.” Woody Allen redeems himself in a thriller set in London, which he had the restraint to leave himself out of. Sexy, scary and unexpected, this movie was a welcome respite for us Woody Allen fans who have had trouble defending him lately.
“Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.” This movie has started coming on Cinemax several times a day so be sure to catch it. It’s hilarious, immensely clever, and features Robert Downey, Jr., who always makes everything he is in better, even Ally McBeal.
“The Devil and Daniel Johnston.” A fascinating and heartbreaking life story of a truly disturbed musician, this excellent documentary examines the emotional possibilities and limitations of art and family.
There, suitable for clipping, laminating, and including in your wallet inventory, everything you need to know about 2006.
Contact Asia Frey at afrey@lagniappemobile.com.
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