By Sean Sullivan Lagniappe columnist

Well the news is out, this week Angelina Jolie is adopting another child, which is a good thing I guess.

I’m sure the Jolie/Pitt household is a really “stable” place for a child to grow up. Remember when she and Billy Bob Thornton carried vials of each other’s blood around their necks? Do you remember the stories about her cutting herself for stress relief?

Although, it will be a home and family to a child that doesn’t have one. And remember how you never realized your family wasn’t like everyone else’s until you were much older? So for 18 years or so the child will think he is growing up in normal surroundings and won’t have to deal with the angst of knowing a generation of boys had the most impure thoughts about his Mom.

I think the greater story is the places Jolie goes to adopt new recruits to her ever-expanding brood. American kids aren’t trendy enough for Brangelina, so they jet to foreign lands to bring home the trendiest in children, the ones you have to clear through customs. Their latest acquisition is a child from Vietnam, specifically from Ho Chi Minh City. I guess when you combine the exotic locale along with the Communist government, it makes this child the latest “must have” for a Hollywood couple.

The spin from the Pitt/Jolie camp is that the Vietnamese officials are fast tracking the adoption so that’s why they chose Vietnam. Fast food, Internet connections, cars, Crimson Tide running backs = good things, fast children < good thing.

According to Brangelina’s public relations folks, the adoption should be completed in about three months. Hell it takes nine months to get our children the old fashioned way, so you figure the need for a new child in three months may be the biggest sign yet the American need for instant gratification has gone too far!

Because I look at things too deeply and I’m a little eccentric, I theorize there may be an even darker plan at work in the lives of Angelina and Brad. They currently have three children, two adopted and one biological. The one son is from Cambodia, the current middle child is from Ethiopia and the youngest and only biological child is from the good ol’ U.S.A., that is if Hollywood is still included as part of this country. The child they are attempting to adopt now is from Vietnam and will give Jolie and Pitt the critical mass to begin what I believe is a plan to have their own live action “Small World” display in their house.

With the resources available to them, Pitt and Jolie can model at least a wing of their home to resemble the Disney ride, a favorite of children of all ages, with each of the children’s rooms decorated in a fashion that reflects the countries in which they were born. They will probably pull some favors from Hollywood set and costume designers to have each child dressed in traditional garb and in an authentic setting.

With the help of voice coaches the children can be taught to angelically belt out “It’s a Small World After All” in unison or in rounds so Angelina, Brad and their guests can ride a miniature train, kind of like the one Ricky Schroeder rode on “Silver Spoons,” up and down the hallways of their home enjoy a live action version of Disney’s mechanical masterpiece.

Once this child from Vietnam is added I would say be on the lookout for the adoption of a child from the Middle East and probably one from one of the low-countries ‘cause everyone loves a singing kid wearing a pair of wooden shoes. Eventually they will add more countries, scorning the adoption of needy children in their own backyard to complete their master plan and when that happens don’t say I didn’t tell you first!

Sean Sullivan is Lagniappe lagniappe columnist. Contact him at ssullivan@lagniappemobile.com.

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