By Ashley Toland Editor

After months of sunshine and harmony, the Mobile City Council turned back to darkness and bickering Tuesday, March 20, thanks in part to a ridiculous request by District Six councilor, Sweet Connie Hudson. Third person insults, an analogy-athon and two hours of debate took place all over whether or not Connie’s richy-rich district should get a piece of $762,528 of uncommitted Community Development Block Grant funds, which is federal money designed to improve low-to-moderate-income neighborhoods.

This year the council entitlement committee decided to give these funds to one district rather than divvying it up among all the qualifying districts as in years past so it would make a bigger impact. District Seven councilwoman Gina Gregory successfully lobbied for her district to get this so she could make much-needed improvements to the Hillsdale community. Non-profit groups DASH for the Gulf Coast and Habitat for Humanity are working to build new homes and rehab existing ones in an effort to restore the neighborhood to its original glory, and the CDBG funds will assist in building sidewalks, providing lighting, cleaning up ditches, park improvements and aid in down payment assistance for Hillsdale homebuyers.

The committee also decided to limit Hudson’s input on how these funds should be doled out since she has no qualifying low-to-moderate-income census tracts in her district (and probably because they knew she was going to want something else for her WeMo Senior Center). And sho-nuff, she wanted $100,000 to furnish the kitchen.

Hudson originally planned to make the loan payments on this building, with CDBG funds, stating she had been told you did not have to necessarily have low-to-moderate-income tracts if you were serving seniors or the disabled. However the Jones administration was told by a HUD official it was possible it would be viewed as a misuse of funds and the city would have to repay the loan, so they opted to fund the center, along with a county contribution, with alternative sources.

Hudson said she still felt like the center qualified for these funds and she unfairly had “no voice” in this matter. She also stated she felt the Hillsdale improvements were “long overdue,” but she didn’t think it was possible that all of the improvements could be made in a year’s time and that the money would roll into Councilwoman Gregory’s discretionary account, rather than going to deserving projects in other districts.

Newbie councilor John C. Williams started off his Ben Brooks-esque speech with some analogy about big and little buckets needing filling in every district and then continued on with the analogy fest by equating Hudson’s concerns to buying a 55-pound bag of fertilizer, only using 10 pounds of it and then putting the rest of it in a storage shed to use next year.

Councilwoman Gregory assured Lagniappe that with the mere $762,528 (which is really not that much in the world of capital improvements) she would be able to use all of Councilman Williams manure and there would be “flowers blooming all over Hillsdale.”

Not be left out of the analogy-athon, Councilman Fred “Freddie D” Richardson said if they split up the money among the districts, no one would really be able to accomplish much, and it would be like fixing one pane in a window where all four were broken. “Now would you feel better about your window, if only one pane was fixed?” he asked. “Noooo!” he answered himself.

He then called Housing Board Director Steve Kohrman up to the podium and asked him if he could use CDBG money to pave streets in Ashland Place in his district, saying it was the same argument Connie was making for the senior center. Kohrman said it wouldn’t qualify because it was a high-income tract. Connie interjected that paving roads was not the same as furnishing the senior center. Fred told her not to interrupt him and then said, “I’m just putting the corn out there where the chickens can eat it.”

Connie Poo sarcastically complimented the D-ster on his “theatrical” performance.

Clinton “CJ” Johnson, not one for analogies, but the master of third person insults chimed in how “some of us may need a history lesson” on how census tracts worked. He was obviously infuriated by comments made by Councilman Williams’ campaign manager Pete Rehm, who lectured, along with Bess Rich, about how all the districts have needs. Looking directly at Rehm he said, “we could fail to represent our districts,” and that would make us “stupid and pathetic.” He closed with a third person insult lesson on hypocrisy, saying some councilors say things they don’t really mean, “that’s called hypocrisy,” he said.

In the end, the money went to Hillsdale, with a 5-2 vote. Hudson and Williams opposed it. Then Williams asked for a roll call of the vote. Ummm – who do you think voted against it, Johnny Boy? Reggie Copeland responded, “we don’t need a roll call, you and Connie voted against it.” Duh!

The worst thing about this two-hour meeting was it was a complete dog-and-pony show for nothing. Maybe it was not Councilwoman Hudson’s intention to turn this into a situation where Hillsdale was pitted against the senior center kitchen, but that’s exactly what happened and that’s just ludicrous.

It seemed the people who spoke in support of Hudson thought if Hillsdale got all the money, the senior center wouldn’t get a kitchen. Rehm went so far as to say it’s like buying a truck and not putting any tires on it. Come on!

Council president Copeland addressed this best by saying, “do you really think we’re going to build a $4 million dollar building and not furnish it?”

Exactly, Reggie. Exactly.

But let’s just say that was the case – that if Hillsdale got the money, the kitchen wouldn’t be furnished. Who in good conscience could say, “alright Hillsdale I know you’ve been neglected and abandoned for years, but we really need to put a $100,000 kitchen in the fancy new West Mobile Senior Center. I know people are getting shot in your neighborhood, but just wait until next year and maybe if the Senior Center doesn’t need a new gym or aviary, we’ll help you out – maybe clean out a ditch or two. But ya’ll please do come visit, ‘cause we really need to make sure we’re getting enough poor folks bussed in here.”

Please.

Councilwoman Hudson was not trying to take anything away from Hillsdale, but that’s exactly how it seemed. Certainly she was just zealously trying to represent her district, but it came off like she was some kind of reverse Robin Hood, who wanted to take money from the poor to give to the rich. And though that’s not the case, in politics, perception is reality, and if Sweet Connie Poo wants to go to Montgomery or DC, as evidenced by her unsuccessful run for state senate last year, she needs to hire a good consultant, because last Tuesday was just a disaster.

Ashley Toland is Lagniappe editor. Contact her at ashleytoland@lagniappemobile.com.

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