By Ashley Toland Editor

Long, lazy days terminated by the sun melting into the sea…. Warm breezes slowly turning the pages of oversized novels read in oversized hammocks…. The slightly-more-sweet-than-bitter taste of freshly squeezed lemonade….the salt miners in your skin who work overtime while you’re at the beach….white cotton sheets so cold they feel like they may be wet….outdoor showers….tomatoes and watermelons…oh and, trashy reality television. Ahhh, summertime.

I really do love all of the aforementioned things about summer – well except for the trashy reality TV. I can do without it, but I have been amused by some of the promos I’ve seen for this season’s crop.

From some sort of modern pirate show to people competing for kidneys to a dating show pitting hot 20-something foxes against 40-something cougars, it’s crazy. And I feel like the same TV execs programming our tubes must also be programming the Mobile City Council because the topics of late seem like they could have their own series. Well, maybe not, but I’m just trying to repackage this same, old boring material into something enjoyable. Wow, maybe I should be in TV.

And miss all this? Naaaahhh.

Extreme Makeover: Downtown

The end of April, Mayor Jones announced he was “launching an aggressive sweep” in the downtown area to bring dilapidated structures up to several city codes.

“We have property owners who are violating the law. They are hurting the city’s appearance and our effort to revitalize downtown Mobile and the surrounding area,” Jones said in an April 25 press release.

“We have a surge in residential apartments in the area. People want to live in an area that is clean and looks good. When we look good, it sends a message that Mobile is ready for business. Mobile is at a pivotal time, therefore it is imperative that we do everything possible to make sure the city is ready,” he added.

Inspectors began citing owners for violations of the Property Maintenance Code and Litter Ordinance, Fire Code and Historic District property ordinances April 27.

Inspectors have been writing tickets to owners who have buildings with open or broken windows and doorways, falling boards and bricks from exterior walls, rotten foundations, damaged roofs and any building that was deemed a safety hazard. They were also cited for properties with high weeds and grass, abandoned junk and/or vehicles and debris and trash.

A comprehensive list of the violators was to be compiled and presented to the mayor by June 1. Calls to the mayor’s office on June 1 to obtain a copy of this list were not returned. The day before Jones’ Executive Director of Administrative Services Barbara Drummond said they were waiting on one more report before the list would be ready.

Councilman William Carroll, who represents the district, said he felt the owners had been “responsive.” He said from his own experience, the absentee landlord adjacent to the property he is developing downtown on Dauphin and Cedar had been brought up to code, and he said he had seen other similar improvements within the Hank Aaron Loop.

The Downtown Mobile Development Office was not as enthusiastic about the response thus far, but is hopeful ch-ch-changes are a comin’.

“We haven’t seen any real changes yet. I have heard that some building owners have received notices, but that’s been pretty recent and as of yet, they’re not fixing their buildings. I suspect it won’t take long, however. Either the property owners will meet the minimum standards, pay the fines or sell the buildings,” Downtown Development Office Public Relations Director Carol Hunter said.

It’s great the city is beginning to strictly enforce this, but it is my fervent hope the owners of theses buildings won’t simply bring their properties up to code and then continue to squat on them, with no intentions of developing them anytime soon.

Hunter feels with the renewed interest in downtown that will not be the case.

“I really think we’ll see less of that endless holding on to property. There are still too many boarded up buildings, but in the past few months so many that had been vacant and neglected for years are being renovated and occupied. Several days a week we have people come into our office looking to buy or rent property, which is truly a new phenomenon. If the owners of the vacant buildings don’t want the hassle of the city inspectors, and if there are willing buyers, they may decide it’s a good time to sell,” Hunter said.

I say really turn up the heat on these absentee owners, Mayor J. I’m tired of driving by the same old neglected buildings every day. I don’t care how colorful the plywood is they used to board them up. If they have no plans to develop them, let’s make them eat the rodents (just the rodents, not the cats or homeless) that inhabit their buildings. See, there’s another reality show – “Fear Factor: Deadbeat Property Owner.”

Mobile’s Got Talent

We have had a bevy of talented bands playing our downtown venues lately. And I feel certain as our economy continues to boom, so will our bars and restaurants – both economically and audibly. But with a surge of residential development, the Downtown Mobile Development Office is working on a noise ordinance to try and keep the boom down and the relationship between the new residents and long time bar owners as harmonious as the sounds emanating from the venues.

The brave pioneering bar owners who were the first to open up shop when downtown was nothing more than a ghost town are naturally concerned this ordinance is going to negatively affect or change the way they do business. But ordinance proponents argue if we want to have residential growth, there is going to have to be some sort of middle ground.

It’s just one of the many growing pains we are going to face, but the Downtown Mobile Development Office, who is drafting the noise ordinance, has put it on hold – for now.

“Our sense is that William Carroll is not entirely supportive of it and therefore it won’t really go anywhere with the council at this moment. I think the tipping point will be in the next few months when many of the some expensive lofts and townhouses are finished and more folks are living along Dauphin Street. Constituent pressure will make a great difference,” Hunter said.

I truly hope it doesn’t to a war between the residents and bar owners. Surely all parties can come to the table and work out a compromise. But if not, we’ll have another great show – “Ultimate Fighting Championship: Loungers vs. Lodgers.”

Flavor of Love: I Love Sam Jones

At the May 29 council meeting, a lady promoting a festival in Trinity Gradens took the opportunity to also hit on our bachelor mayor. Council rules dictate that anyone who speaks at council must state his/her name and address for the record. After this lovely lady stated her name she looked at the mayor and said, “I am a 51-year-old single woman living at…” Later she commented on just how handsome he was. I think we should add a little “Flavor of Love” to every council meeting. Calling all cougars….

Ashley Toland is Lagniappe editor. Contact her at ashleytoland@lagniappemobile.com.

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