By Rob Holbert Managing Editor

I’ve got to admit, the end of the Alabama Legislative Session was much more satisfying than many I can remember, and not just because the Coastal Conservation Association was thwarted in its efforts to the state’s gillnet fishermen out of business. No, it was the “punch heard ‘round the world” that put a glowing smile on my face.

Frankly, I had stared to believe our Legislators, as a group, were much more interested in passing pay raises for themselves and engaging in all manner of procedural constipation in order to keep power rather than actually doing the people’s business. I feared they had lost the passion. The punch proved me wrong.

It seems there’s still a little fire left in Alabama’s Legislators’ bellies. Sure, maybe it’s not fire remotely related to anything having to do with passing better laws in ‘Bama, but it’s fire nonetheless, and that’s got to be worth something.

Perhaps a recap is in order, in case you were dead for the past few weeks, or had a premonition Alabama was about to be nationally embarrassed and decided to flush your TV down the toilet. (Alabama Power advises always unplugging first when you do that!)

In a nutshell, Sen. Charles Bishop of Jasper, popped Sen. Lowell Barron of Fyffe, in the cheek after the two engaged in some sort of verbal altercation on the floor of the Senate. Naturally, these being politicians, their accounts are so wildly different, one questions whether they were actually in the same room – unless one watches the video of the “fight,” in which case one must conclude, they were indeed involved in fisticuffs, or were trying to get on “Senators Gone Wild.”

Bishop claims Barron called him a son of a bitch, which, where he comes from, is insulting someone’s mother. (Couldn’t it also be construed to be insulting someone’s father, you know, the one who did it with the dog? What about the poor dog who must be horribly embarrassed to have birthed an Alabama senator? Just a thought.)

Naturally Bishop has never been called this name without hitting someone, and he wasn’t about to start now. So he took his best shot at Barron, clocking him on the left cheek with a punch so weak it looked like it could have been stopped by a thick fog.

Barron, for his part, told television reporters he used a word a little more harsh than “durn.” He actually said “durn.” Then he went on to spell out D-A-M-N for the TV cameras, as if someone might suffer a heart attack if they heard him utter a word that is said on TV no less than 5 billion times a day and used by my 4-year-old on occasion. (It’s his mother’s damn fault!) Barron claims that’s when Bishop struck him.

Now I’m not going to try to figure out which mild epithet got Bishop in a fighting mood. Either way, it can be supposed the man has a pretty quick switch when it comes to “cuss” words. I can just imagine him in his living room attacking his television on a routine basis after getting riled about filthy words. I hope he doesn’t have cable!

I don’t really care what got Bishop swinging, I’m just glad it happened.

First, I love to see old men grapple with one another. Sure, it’s not as graceful as watching two 20-something women mud wrestle, but there is something wonderful about seeing an old fellow like Charles Bishop get his Irish up enough to slug another red-faced old man. It kind of reminded me of “Cocoon,” only without Wilford Brimley.

Frankly I’d like to see more of this type of thing. When I worked in Washington, I was always hoping some senator might slap another. I really wanted someone to tag John McCain. Too bad Bishop wasn’t there. McCain was always using both of those words that get Charlie in a fighting mood.

Don’t you think people would pay more attention to what’s going on in politics if our elected officials occasionally just kicked the crap out of one another? I do. That was the unintended silver lining in this cloud of embarrassment.

I guarantee Bishop and Barron’s fracas got people more interested in what’s happening – or not happening – on Goat Hill. All of the sudden, the fact that the very narrow majority has been running the Senate with an iron fist this year caught some attention. Newspapers all across the state editorialized about the fight and mentioned what was likely the real cause of Bishop’s frustration – the fact that Barron has been running the “durn” Senate like he owns it.

Unfortunately it happened at the end of the legislative year, so most of us have tuned back out.

Let’s face it, most of us are bored with trying to follow politics. Every argument has ten sides and we’re overloaded with spin. It might take some bone-jarring punches to an old windbag’s face to get us interested again.

Sadly, Barron is reportedly already moving to put in some strict penalties for those Legislators who would like to mix it up in the future. And there is also increasing pressure for Bishop to suffer some punishment for his fury. I think that’s a mistake.

Anything that gets people focused on what’s happening in Montgomery can’t be all that bad. If it takes giving the state and some windy old senators simultaneous black eyes to get voters to pay attention, so be it.

Rob Holbert is Lagniappe managing editor. Contact him at rholbert@lagniappemobile.com.

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