Mobile Magnified

Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! Between the Prez’s visit and our very own domestic media cyber-terrorist, I have been a busy little Boozie. A busy little Boozie? That makes me want to vomit myself. I apologize. But it truly has been quite hectic around here at the old gossip HQ, so much so there is hardly any room left in our rumor warehouse. So it’s time for an all out summer clearance sale. These bits are all buy one-get-one-free. So grab a buggy and stock up! It’s BOGO, baby!

W and LB Sightings

So, of course, we all know the president and First Lady were in town a couple of Thursdays ago for a fundraiser for Sen. Jeff Sessions. And we knew Laura B was going to be staying with friends in Ashland Place for a few extra days. And we also knew she is fond of antiques. But what we didn’t know is there are reportedly several First Ladies, or at least First Lady imposters.

Yes, my presidential spywitnesses reported LB was seen at several MiMo antique/art stores, including Yellow House and Atchison Imports. Or was she? My spies also said Laura had several decoy First Ladies strolling around town to throw off the press and public and I would imagine for security reasons.

I wonder how one gets that gig? And what would the interview process be like? And have any of the faux-First foxes been accidentally violated by a confused W? We need to know the answers.

What we do know the answers to though is what the President munched on while he was here. According to our culinary spies, the Wintzell’s van pulled right up next to Air Force One and loaded it up with West Indies salad, gumbo and other tasty Wintzell’s fare.

Sting stung in Muscle Shoals

My music spy filed a report that Monday, June 18, just after the Bonnaroo Music Festival in Manchester, Tenn., Sting and fellow Policeman Andy Summers took a little trip to the legendary Fame recording studios in Muscle Shoals, where such greats as Aretha Franklin and Otis Redding recorded. The studio owner’s wife, Linda Hall, was in the lobby when they showed up. They asked for a tour, but Linda had no clue who they were and told them no. The next day, she saw their picture in the paper and realized who they were. Oops.

Oh Sting! That’s gotta well, sting.

Ur-ine my trunk

This came across the gossip wire but there is no way to confirm it, so I’ll have to be vague. Luckily, it’s about one of our public figures who has had some legal troubles lately, so obviously that won’t narrow the field down too much. A spy nestled deep in the middle of all this says when this person’s vehicle was searched in the midst of the investigation of said person, the authorities found urine samples in the trunk of his or her vehicle.

Now perhaps this public figure likes to sing (most likely the blues) and used the urine to soothe an irritated throat. Or maybe he or she has some weird fettish – hello golden showers! But it seems more likely it was probably passed out to people who needed some “clean urine.” If so, it begs the question, “Whose Tee Tee is it Anyway?”

E-mail terrorist’s “roommate” cruises

I know you have all been following the bizarre the story of our very own cyber-terrorist Daniel Leonard who sent threatening e-mails to the talking heads over at WPMI, as well as allegedly stole more than $73K from the School of Math and Science, where he was employed.

There were parts of the e-mails that were just horrifying – saying he was going to make “Virginia Tech look lame” and he had guns in the building already and stuff like that. Terrible. Inexcusable. He needs to be locked up for that. But what you may not know is also in those e-mails he ratted out just about everything anyone in the station had ever said about general manager Bob Franklin, who Leonard referred to as “Dictator Bob Franklin” in the e-mails.

From reporters bitching about the terms of their contracts to new Anchorman Greg Peterson getting mad about his now infamous stolen Healthy Choice meal to people just saying how much they hated one another, I bet some folks are still pretty uneasy over there on Azalea Road.

But who doesn’t have to be uneasy anymore? Leonard’s boyfriend, WPMI reporter Richard Allyn. Yes, I said it. Allyn was Leonard’s boyfriend. I know everyone else calls him his “roommate,” but it’s a double standard, and I’m not subscribing to it anymore. Everyone in the Fruit Loop knows Allyn and Leonard were a couple and if my (hypothetical) live-in boyfriend was arrested for something, no one would refer to him as my roommate, they would say my boyfriend. Calling him his roommate is also misleading because there is a big difference between sharing not just a power bill with someone but also a bed. So let’s call a spade a spade.

But anyway, apparently Richard is no longer at WPMI, and I can report that late last week a Budget moving truck was parked in front of the house the two shared on Emogene and Taylor in MiMo. And Daniel’s green Land Rover was back from impound. What is it about Land Rovers and legal troubles in this city?

I hear a documentary may be in the works called “Un-healthy Choices.” Hee hee.

Broussard at Bluegill

The Bluegill was packed to the gills (pun intended) Sunday, July 1 for the Ugli Stick show. According to ‘Gill sources, they reached capacity early and had to turn people away. Luckily, Marc Broussaed was not one of those. The Louisiana singer and his band and crew pulled up their tour bus to the Causeway eatery on their way to a gig in Florida.

Broussard asked his server, “what is going on?”

She told him, “She said one of our favorite local bands Ugli Stick is playing. We expect this kind of crowd out of you too.”

Broussard is slated to play the Bluegill Saturday, August 25.

Nappie-palooza

This year’s Nappie Awards on Wednesday, July 18 are going to be crazy, as it is this rag’s 5th anniversary. And after the ceremony, we would love all of you guys to join us at the official after-party at the Royal Scam on 72 S. Royal St. I’d say around 9:30 or 10ish. It should get pretty crazy. Hope to see you there!

Singles: Time to be sold

The American Cancer Society is gearing up for this year’s Singles Auction and is looking for Mobile and the Eastern Shore’s Most Eligible Bachelors and Bachelorettes, who are willing to be put up on the block.

The auction will be held once again at the Beach House Grill Aug. 23. But this year, instead of sending the purchased singles on individual dates with their purchasers, everyone will go on one big group date at Café 615 the following week on August 30. So, it takes the pressure off a little.

Anyway, if you think you could bring in some quality coin for the cancer society with your dashing good looks or wicked charm, please contact Sarah at the American Cancer Society at 251-414-1305.

Well kids, I hope you loaded up your carts and stocked up your cupboards because you never know if it’s going to be feast or famine with this stuff. Anyway, have a wonderful, pyrotechnic-filled Fourth of July (Happy Bday America! You don’t look a day over 29, you old girl), and I’ll see you back here next issue – same time, same place. And just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or just some plain ol’ pee pee lovin’, I will be there. Ciao.

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

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