Ah, the soap opera that is the Gulf Coast Classic continues — despite what you may have been led to believe. There’s enough drama rolled up in this thing to probably have Joan Collins and Linda Evans eyeing it over for a spot in the action. (OK, I admit I kind of time-warped back to “Dynasty” there, but I haven’t watched a lot of soap-operaish stuff since the ‘80s. I’m out of the loop.)

Once Mobile Mayor Sam Jones managed to stop breaking state law — a law with apparently no discernable penalty for violating it — and turned in his budget for next year a week-and-a-half late, we got to see what he purports to do this year for the abject failure that is the Gulf Coast Classic. (Try seeing if YOU are allowed to break state laws the way our mayor did, by the way, and see where it gets you.)

Secret Sam turned in his illegally late budget and it held just $47,500 in funding for this year’s Classic, which is supposed to be played Nov. 14 at Ladd-Peebles Stadium. The amount proposed this year is far short of the $275,000 the city ponied up last year as part of Jones’ and his Chief of Staff Al Stokes’ dreams of establishing a “true Classic” here in Mobile, like they have in New Orleans and Birmingham.

Of course we’ve all heard the story by now about what happened to that money, along with the $50,000 the county kicked in. It seems to have evaporated. Somewhere along the way the participant schools, Alabama State and Southern University, were left wanting for $188,000 of the original $450,000 they were promised by the Gulf Coast Scholar and Sports Foundation. This shadowy group was handed the money and charged with running the show, and mostly what they seem to have done is made a giant mess of Sam and Al’s dreams.

But none of the mess would have happened had the mayor and his chief not sneakily tried to make this “Classic” happen without first talking to other members of the city council. Yes, I know it’s hard to remember how things first went down, especially if you spend too much time reading the editorial pages of the local daily, which seems to spend most of its time trying to figure out ways to editorially caress Mayor Jones’ sensitive parts.

If we cast our minds way back to last year, we can remember it was Sam and Al who were out making deals with Alabama State and Southern, promising them money they hadn’t negotiated in order to come here and play. It’s only when things went horribly wrong that they tried to back away from it all and point fingers at the Gulf Coast Scholar and Sports Foundation. A little investigation into some of the folks running this questionable outfit probably would have revealed that giving them money might provide the same level of financial security as investing with Bernie Madoff.

When Lagniappe interviewed him back in February, Foundation Director Steve Harrelson told us the schools were going to be paid “next week.” Uh Steve, that was about seven months ago. Where’s the bread buddy?

And that’s what the schools apparently want to know. Despite Stokes’ statements to us that the classic will go on as scheduled, the participants are getting pretty balky. They’ve apparently made some noise about not playing the game in Mobile if they don’t get their cash, and that’s where we are now.

When Secret Sam finally decided to stop illegally delaying his budget submission (did I mention what he did was illegal?) and gave it to the council, Taylor Hodge, who is now apparently the face of the foundation, hustled down to tell the council he wants the same amount as last year so he can make the Classic happen again. It appears his logic is they’ll get the $275,000 and pay of the part they owe from last year, then worry about this year later.

People seem somewhat relieved Sam only set aside $47,500 for this year’s Classic, but before anyone gets too comfortable, there is the small matter of the $200,000 Jones included just below the line item for the Classic. Jones did set aside the 200 large for the council to either give to the Classic or to another sporting event that will create an economic impact for the city.

So Sammy hasn’t exactly closed the door to giving even more money to these clowns at the Gulf Coast Scholar and Sports Foundation, despite last year’s disaster. And let’s not forget how the funding got passed last year — mainly through threats and intimidation by some members of the council who said they would block any and all monies going to other events unless the Classic got its money. If you don’t think Clinton Johnson — should he not be voted out soon —would throw another hissy fit to push this game, dream on.

Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not against developing the Classic as a game and money-maker, I just don’t trust the people Jones seems hell-bent on giving the cash to. They seem to have problems holding onto it and there is also zero accountability. Of course zero accountability seems to be something of a hallmark for our mayor.

If the GCSS Foundation is going to get the $200,000 Jones set aside, I’d rather see it go for some other type of sporting event that would bring money and fame to our city. A professional Putt-Putt tournament, World Championship Nutria Rodeo or (my personal favorite) The Rob Holbert Pro-Am Beer-Chugging-and-Hot-Wing-Eating Olympics all seem more likely to put money in the city’s coffers than handing $200,000 to this sieve of a foundation.

But my guess is that’s exactly what Secret Sam has in mind, and I doubt we’ve heard the end of throwing the money down this particular rabbit hole.