Mobile Magnified

Jul 01 2008 – Summer is here, and not just because it officially began on June 21.

Jun 17 2008 – Kids, it’s hot in the hot tub and everywhere else, for that matter.

Jun 03 2008 – It’s been a long, strange two weeks. With local people appearing on "Judge Judy," possums reading Lagniappes at Veet’s and morons wrestling alligators at The Bluegill, I’ve been a busy little Boozie.

May 19 2008 – It’s been a busy few weeks in the Port City. There have been a million weddings, street parties, crawfish boils and crawfish boils.

May 06 2008 – It’s been a busy week for the Boozester. Between chasing down the Jolie-Pitts in Fairhope and Kid Rock at the Flora-Bama, I’m exhausted, not to mention various tales of nastiness with perverts and cougars.

Apr 22 2008 – Well, well, well… we survived Widespread and the Shrimp Cook-off.

Apr 08 2008 – Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. My gossip cup has overfloweth the past couple of weeks, with big celebrities making appearances all around us.

Mar 25 2008 – Well, well, well, my pretties. My spies have been busy and everywhere.

Mar 11 2008 – Well kids, we’ve sprung forward – in more ways than one.

Feb 25 2008 – The chili bowls are as empty as our social calendars and a feeling of woe has taken over city.

Feb 12 2008 – Well King Felix declared we should all "succumb to the cornucopia of joy and pleasure Mobile’s Mardi Gras provides," and I think we did, ya’ll.

Jan 28 2008 – I’m not even sure if King Felix has declared lawlessness or misrule yet (or whatever it is he does while sporting puffy pants), but it seems that way to me.

Jan 15 2008 – Well the insanity has begun. Man, it’s just too early this year.

Jan 01 2008 – Well, we made it through another year. From "Super Sweet" 16th birthdays to rock stars pooping in local blenders, 2007 was certainly bizarre.

Dec 18 2007 – Well, guys. The Christmas party season has not been pretty.

Dec 04 2007 – Well, well, well. All I can say is I’m thankful I survived Thanksgiving.

Nov 20 2007 – Happy Thanksgiving to all of my Port City peeps and welcome to all you folks who are just visiting, especially those of you from Montgomery or Birmingham, who are looking for even more evidence that Mobilians are all insane.

Nov 06 2007 – Muhahahahahaha! Greetings, my pretties. The streets of Mobile were filled with some very scary ghosts, goblins, e-mail terrorists and paddling judges on Halloween, and my spies were oh-so-happy to oblige me with full reports.

Oct 23 2007 – Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! I’ve been reporting from Mobile’s seedy underbelly for over five years now, and I have heard some pretty insane, nasty and scandalous stuff, but never have I heard a tale like the one you are about to digest.

Oct 09 2007 – Geez. When it rains, it pours. BayFest is the gift that keeps on giving to the Boozester.

Sep 25 2007 – Well, it’s kind of been a slow week in Boozie World.

Sep 11 2007 – Some of you have been naughty. So very naughty, in fact, I’m going to have to take you into my spank tank and bend you over my knee.

Aug 28 2007 – Well, well, well. Just a few more weeks and the dog days of summer will be long gone.

Aug 14 2007 – Well, well, well it’s been quite an entertaining last couple of weeks thanks to WPMI’s never-ending shenanigans, but there have been a few other nuggets of nastiness courtesy of Poison’s Brett Michaels and small airport hotties.

Jul 31 2007 – Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! Never in the history of Nappie parties have I seen such a turnout like we had at this year’s awards ceremony, which were held at the exquisite Saenger Theatre Wednesday, July 18.

Jul 17 2007 – I’ve been dishing out gossip for five years now. I can’t believe it!

Jul 03 2007 – Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! Between the Prez’s visit and our very own domestic media cyber-terrorist, I have been a busy little Boozie.

Jun 19 2007 – We have had so many celebrity sightings in the Port City lately, it really is starting to feel like L.A., and I’m not talking about Lower Alabama.

Jun 05 2007 – Well my pretties, it has been a pretty tame couple of weeks.

May 22 2007 – Well, well, well. It has been a star-studded last couple of weeks here in Mob-easy.

May 08 2007 – The Boozester loves nothing more than when our arrogant public officials act out.

Apr 25 2007 – Well, well, well. Last issue, I almost didn’t have enough space to fit all of the scandaliciousness, and now this issue I’m clamoring for misbehavior.

Apr 10 2007 – Well, my sweets, just when the gossip seemed to be dying right along with the azalea blooms, a new crop of spring scuttlebutt blossomed.

Mar 28 2007 – The azaleas are a bloomin’, the birds are a chirpin’ and Mobilians are a misbehavin’.

Mar 13 2007 – Is it just me or does everyone seem to be taking Lent kind of lightly this year?

Feb 27 2007 – The Ash Wednesday rains began to cleanse Government Street of MoonPie wrappers and bodily fluids about the same time King Felix headed back to the Isle of Joy to get some much-needed rest before returning to declare misrule again next Mardi Gras -which is super early next year, by the way.

Feb 13 2007 – Even though the weather has for the most part been lousy, this is still my favorite time of year here in the Big Moonpie.

Jan 30 2007 – Maybe it’s the time of year. After all, the decent into Mardi Gras has officially begun, so maybe folks are getting nuts already, but this is too much!

Jan 16 2007 – Well, kids, there has been scoop aplenty lately. Between all of the bowl game gossip, home invasions and iron woodland creatures with addictions to narcotics, my hand hurts from all the scribblin’ I’ve had to do.

Jan 02 2007 – Hello 2007 and a fresh year of gossip! Have you guys gotten over your New Year’s Eve hangovers yet?

Dec 19 2006 – Well my kiddies, this is the last plate of gossip of 2006.

Dec 05 2006 – Hello my gossip-hungry little monsters. I was in a tryptophan coma for a week straight, but I managed to get some dish for you this issue.

Nov 21 2006 – Between dealing with rabid, former "American Idol" contestant Ace Young’s fans and jotting down all of the D and F list celebrities who have been spotted around town lately, I’ve been working overtime.

Nov 08 2006 – Halloween came and went and as expected the streets of Mobile were full of ghosts, goblins and tons of scantily clad women dressed as slutty versions of just about anything you could think of.

Oct 25 2006 – Geez, Louise! It’s been a strange couple of weeks here in Mob-town.

Oct 10 2006 – The Boozester has been in a funk for the last week.

Sep 27 2006 – It’s been a busy couple of weeks in the gossiphere, so I’m not going to bore you with my usual introduction, unless you’re already bored, then I’m sorry.

Sep 13 2006 – I was just cruising my favorite celebrity gossip Web site (www.perezhilton.com) and got to see a picture of Lindsay Lohan’s "downtown business." It made me giggle to think of what would happen if we started printing that kind of quality stuff of our own local celebrities here in Boozie; Miss Nues, if you’re nasty, and I know you are or you wouldn’t be reading this.

Aug 29 2006 – As I’m writing this, Tropical Storm Ernesto looks to be headed for the Gulf and most of the computer models have it coming near us, so I have to hurry up and tell you all the gossip, so I can go stock up on all my Boozie hurricane supplies-tequila, vodka, mixers, limes, beer and Doritos.

Aug 16 2006 – I don’t know what’s wrong with you people lately, but your collective lips have been as loose as Angelina Jolie’s are plump and delicious.

Aug 01 2006 – Fan me. Spritz me. Spray me down with a hose. I don’t care.

Jul 19 2006 – I can hardly believe this issue celebrates four years of Lagniappe.

Jul 05 2006 – Boozie here. I’ve been incredibly lonely lately. So lonely, in fact, I have even taken to cruising the Internet in search of some lovin’.

Jun 21 2006 – Ladies, we’re going to have to have a talk. While I appreciate you gals providing me with a bounty of material, the nudity has got to stop.

Jun 06 2006 – It’s starting to get hot out there, my peeps, and people are starting to take off all their clothes.

May 23 2006 – I’m going to the chapel, and I’m going to get married.

May 09 2006 – Hello my pretties. I was beginning to wonder if you guys were ever going to misbehave again, as there was definitely a gossip drought along with our recent lack of precipitation.

Apr 26 2006 – Hello, my little gossip-hungry freakazoids! How were your Easters?

Apr 11 2006 – Well, we’re almost done with Lent, and I couldn’t be happier because you kids have not been acting up like I’m used to, and I’m starving, just wasting away for something really juicy to sink my gossip-hungry teeth into.

Mar 29 2006 – You know, I used to think that when other people told me that everyone else in the state thought Mobilians were insane that they were just jealous of Mardi Gras, our proximity to the beaches or something.

Mar 14 2006 – The Iron Deer has a rash, and Charcoal Charlie Graddick knows more about two-bit drunks than dogs!

Mar 01 2006 – Oh my exhausted little Mardi Gras revelers! You really have outdone yourselves this year.

Feb 14 2006 – Well, the good times have already started rolling in the Port City, and I’ve been catching loads of beads, nasty panties and gossip that’s more decadent than a Double Decker banana moonpie.

Jan 31 2006 – By Boozie Beer Nues Social butterfly Oh my gossip-hungry little monsters, it has been a long, long week for the Boozester and her exhausted army of spies.

Jan 18 2006 – Okay, so maybe I didn’t break the big Brangelina baby news.

Jan 04 2006 – Over the past few days I’ve heard some very disturbing news.

Dec 21 2005 – I’ve determined all of you have been just naughty enough to make it on my good list this year, and now you will be rewarded with a gift of gossip sure to fill you with Christmas cheer and remind all of you of the true reason for the season — parties full of enough drunkenness and scandal to carry us through the New Year.

Dec 07 2005 – I think it’s time I come clean. I’m not sure what sort of journalistic ethical standards I have broken, but I know it’s time to let you all in on a little secret.